Friday, October 30, 2009

Reject Sampai Lali

Aaahhh~....hari last keje...huhuhu...giler serunok siot...~! last few days...sumthing happened to a friend of mine. THis dude got rejected...yeah...that's it people...REJECTED. but don't get me's not like i'm gonna tell u guys everything that he whines about...eheheh. aku just....nak bercerita sket...pasal reject2 nih...

as for me...aku...mmg sangat takut rejections. serious...agak painful la kena reject nih...dan throughout my life...aku dah tak larat nak kira baper kali kena reject...(loser siot aku). lepaih kena reject tu...aku...sedih laa....kecewa....ati picah...~ tensen menggiler...mula la kononnyer nak isap rokok dua tiga batang sekali jalan...nak carik beer ke...wiski ke...nak amik dadah laa....nak kelar tangan sendiri la...memacam lagi lah...yang leh menyumbang pada kemusnahan diri sendiri( ye ye...sebelum korang cakap...aku akan cakap sendiri.."bodo la aku...!") lah...kira dah sehabis emo la tu konon.

member aku pun dok cakap, dia penah rasa benda lebey kurang gitu, tapi dia kata...ari jer...ada gak la...a bit of a sting kat ati nih. ye lah...ati mmg dah syg kt someone tu...sekali telah direject plak...but surprisingly...less painful.

kenapa...? ntah ah...mungkin sbb dah dapat jangka kot....akan direject...tapi daripada buat andaian...baik tanya je straight...skali alih2...mmg ye kena reject...heheheh. tak pun mmg dah selalu sangat kena reject...sampai dah lali...eheheh.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Ones that forget

i have a few, but i feel alone,
i have one, but i feel none,
i can be in a crowded room,
but i feel like i’m in an empty room without windows,
i can try, not that i can’t
just don’t want to,
i feel it’s a waste,
but somehow, someone with someone else,
here i am left alone,
there are times, i tried to reach out
i got the hold, but had to let go,
don’t want to, but was insisted,
i put it down, i put it in,
waited, usually fell through, till the break of dawn,
no use saying it out loud,
when nobody’s listening,
no use whispering,
no one can hear you,
seriously, what is it to be loved?
cared, loved, existed, noticed,
want to be a newborn,
or maybe brainwashed,
so one can’t remember,
the ones that forget…

buts & maybes

this life, mine, yours, ours,
more or less the same,
and yet, so different,
maybe you can face it,
but i don’t think i can,
maybe you can get use to it,
or you’ve already used to it,
now that i may not know how to use it,
maybe they say it’s nothing,
but i say, it’s not just a ‘THING’,
maybe they say it’s impossible,
but i can’t say impossible is nothing,
maybe we can say, i may be wrong,
but i say, maybe it’s just me,
maybe we can say all this is crap,
but i say, it’s just a bunch of bull


wondering myself
as i look at the world
the way i look it thru my eyes
may never be the same
like everybody else’s

as time goes by
be old, be wise
be bold, be nice
and in time one can find,
happiness after all the sadness

in this life
we can achieve greatness
our efforts and our hopes
so we believe, for each of us
we will have our chances

where do we belong?
do we belong anywhere?
anyway…foretold the lies that
may be the truth

what is like to be
the one to see it
all crumble down to ashes…


as i watch the changing weather
from the window of my cell
may be clear outside
but inside me it’s raining blood

just what is there to do
with someone and there is only me
to hold there’s nobody
to embrace there’s no one

the heart is void
is it not? will it be?
half empty it may be
half full? not likely

the weather’s changing
here comes the rain
as if nature’s wept with me
she felt the melancholy

once reality escapes me
the fantasy grabs a hold of me
the nightmares choking me
now life itself comforts me

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The Waves

to be in front of you
although i’m somewhat behind the line
it’s a bliss i never want to miss
it’s the energy that i can never resist

with your hands lifted in the air
the waves of you, welcomes me
appreciate the support
so i thank you

with you say it with me
knowing every word i say
screaming at the top of ur lungs
understand every word we say

i want to be there again
it’s the only time i feel so alive
the one feeling that can never be replaced
day by day i longing for the embrace

The Decision

the rain is pouring down
as she lay alone on her bed
thinking what would happen
to all the things in her head

she can’t decide on
what to do or what to wear
as she take a look in the closet
she can never choose, she can’t compare

and old sweater’s hanging there
gives her warmth and comfort
on the otherside, there’s the new evening dress
makes her feel beautiful and elegent

but there’s always another option
it’s always her choice, her decision
just throw away the dress, and go burn the sweater
just go out and find a new attire

A Story Of A Man

there’s a story of a man,
when long ago he’s head over heels,
over a girl, so beautiful, alluring,
a face of an angel and stars for eyes,

nothing except her, in his mind,
nothing but her, in his heart,
nothing he wouldn’t do for her,
he would give his all just for her,

but she never knew, as he just wouldn’t dare,
to tell her what she means to him,
to tell her how much he adores her,
to tell her his heart skips everytime near her,

to tell her, more than life itself, he loves her,
that was years ago,when they used to be close,
now those days are gone,as if she never knew him before,

he asked himself why,blame himself for didn’t even try,
afraid she can never accept what he’s going to say,
fearing that she can never accept him for saying it,
in time, people change, that’s how the saying goes,

it’s hard for him to accept that fact, let alone,
live on in this life with a scar,
just watch her,
admire her, from afar…

Cherita Lama Yang Gile

Phew!! what a day...what a day indeed! heh...orait the first half of the day was boring...have to follow my parents to my makcik's house in Seremban...ada kenduri. boring giler...sumer orang tua2....pakcik pakcik...makcik makcik yang datang...takde sorang pun yang dalam lingkungan umor cam aku. so...i ended up reading Modern Drummer...thank god i brought that from home.
Arrived home a few hours after that...then my bro asked me to call him...

what la you...u're a freakin' lecturer...don't even have money to buy credit kah? ehehe...but i called him anyway...tetiba..

"eh...u nak gi alexis kol berapa??"
"hah?? alexis?? apa ni??"
"lah...arep tak sms u ker?"
"takde rasa nye..."
"dia kan perform untuk Singer/Songwriters Rounds...kat Alexis"
"oh ye ke? Alexis tu kat mana?"
"Kt jalan ampang tu...dalam great eastern mall..."
"ooo...that place ah?? ok ok...u smpi kol baper?"
"maybe around 8 to 9 kot..."
" u there lah"

i was like...oh man...camne leh terlupa lak...seb baik tak lepak kat umah makcik tu lelama. so like...suddenly terasa malas nak gi sesorang lak...huhuhu...kalo sueci ada...mmg dah lama gi ngan called my cousin...asked if he want to go or not...dia kata around 6 camtu...kitorang gerak...sampai agak lepak minum kat Lotus. lepas pekena teh tarik ngan mee goreng...masa tu pulak maghrib dah ajak la dia solat (aku tau ramai orang mcm tak caya). kitorang solat kat surau bangunan tabung haji. lepas abih solat...sepupu aku kata plak...

"weh, ko ada nampak kasut aku tak?? hilang ah".

ah sudah...kasut kena kebas la plak...Alhamdulillah kasut aku tak kena...kasut buruk benor kot. so...nak tak nak...kena beli kasut baru...terbang gak la 79 ringgit.
sampai great eastern mall kol 8's still sat...lama gak la...coz the show starts at 10.30. tonite, all the performers - Shanon Shah - Eugene Ng - Ariff Akhir - Izzy Mohamed...were fantastic!! all of 'em played about...5-6 songs each. then...

"weh...lepas ni ada open mic session...aie(that's me), ko nak main?"
"hoish...tak nak ah...!"
"ala selambe aaa!, jap aku cari pete teoh(the organizer)...aku masukkan nama ko"
"woi arep...ko jangan buat gile!!"
"takpe...biar aku yang cari" suara abg aku pulak mencelah...

and he just left....demmit...i didn't expect this at all...shit man...i'm not fucking ready. my heart was pounding like crazy...i'm a nervous wreck. all the other performers for the open mic session were great...and way better than i am on guitars.'s my turn...mmg MENGGELABAH GILER...cakap bergetar...tangan menggigil...sweating like mad. masa nak start tu...ada aje yang tak kena...gitar tetiba nak jatuh laa...salah tekan chords...ahahahaha....sampai tiga kali la start semula lagu...but then...thank god...i managed to pulled it of...thanx to my bro...ariff...kak cousin...ariff's lil' sister...pete teoh and all of the sporting audience's support.
it was was was tiring...what a day my friends...till then...stixx fixxing out!!

- 16th July 05...ahahahah...citer ni aku post kt blog lama aku. aku ske post ni...sbb tu aku amik post balik kt blog baru lah...baru lagi...tak banyak nak story... =P

Rasi - Emosi u love being in love? well...who doesn't? aku rasa...sumer orang suka bercinta...ada ke orang tak suka bercinta?? pada siapa yang rasa love life dia tak best...mesti la kata tak suka. tapi macam mana dia tau love life dia tak best? dia tau...sebab dia bercinta juga asalnya. and along the way...their love story turned sour...salah faham...takleh tolak ansur...kepercayaan kurang...atau pun...takde langsung...dan akhirnya, putus.

hakikat nya sumer suka bercinta. dan bila bercinta tu...kita takleh elak daripada menghadapi konflik. when two lives trying to live as one...there will be conflicts in any relationship. it's all about how u handle it. rationally or emotionally...u choose.

Pernah break?? ditinggalkan?? meninggalkan??...pada yang pernah bercinta, aku jamin...sejumlah besar mengatakan YA. sbb dan alasan perpisahan itu berlaku...sendiri fikir la. boleh terima ke perpisahan tu?? ada yang boleh...ada yang tak boleh. ada yang redha...ada yang paksa diri terima hakikat. and like i said earlier...rationally or emotionally...again, u choose.

"But it's not easy...", "U don't understand!" , "What do you know?", these are the questions i always get, when these so called "victims of love" ask me for advice. Yes people, i know it's not easy...but it can never be any easier if u quit trying...would it? Yes...i can never understand cannot make a move on from this situation...? let alone living in anger, melancholy, sadness and self-seclusion?? for all u know... the "used-to-be" other half is happy with his/her "i'm-single-again" life...OR new guy/girl?? and Yes...maybe i don't know anything, BUT...i do know one thing...everything in life can never be is unfair...remember...rationally or emotionally...u choose.


Layanilah dirinya seolah dia melebihi segalanya,
Melebihi impian mu, melampaui mindanya,

Layanilah dirinya, seolah dirinya lebih dari yang kau pinta,
Melebihi harapanmu, melepasi batas imaji mu,

Bicara pada nya semanis mungkin, cintai nya sedalamnya,
Jadilah setulus mungkin, berilah hati mu kerana dia bukan sekadar perempuan,

Dia ibarat bidadari hidupmu, dia yang termanis di dunia mu,
Dia lebih cantik dari ribuan mawar yang mekar,

Wanita, perempuan, gadis...janganlah bersedih,
Kerana dirimu takkan tahu pabila seseorang akan jatuh cinta pada indah senyum mu,

Biarkan dirinya tahu, bahawa dirimu mengambil tahu,
Biarkan dirinya tahu, lakukan sesuatu yang istimewa, pada dirinya yang teristimewa,

Doakan dirinya mimpi-mimpi manis, semanis dirinya,
Doakan dirinya mimpi-mimpi indah, seindah dirinya,

Pabila dia menangis, jadilah yang pertama tempat dia merehatkan mindanya,
Dan menangislah bersama, supaya dirinya tahu bahawa dia tidak keseorangan,

Pabila dia ketawa, jadilah yang pertama mendengarnya,
Pabila dia bersedih, jadilah yang pertama membuatnya kembali ceria,

Dan pabila kau meluahkan rasa cinta terhadap si dia,
Pastikan dia melihat air mata yang tulus mengalir...

- Sesungguhnya wanita ibarat sebuah misteri yang indah -