StixxFixx ~ a peek inside a difficult mind

Tahun Sudah Baru...~!

2011-01-09T09:49:00.001-08:00

Isnin - SepuluhKosongSatuDuaPuluhSebelas - whoa...~! now the new year's here...it's 2011 already...damn...never quite remember what my 2010's resolutions were. come to think of it...yeah...i think there were quite a few. all i can say is...win some...lose some. then again...i'm not gonna talk about what's my new years resolution is.

i'm just wanna talk about things that happened in between the transition frm 2010 to 2011...ok 1st off...b4 this...i've been waiting for THE 'answer' frm this one girl...i've waiting stupidly for the past 3 f*cking years...so...finally i've decided...i'm done being stupid...i'm not gonna wait any longer...i'm walking away(terasa nak nyanyi lagu craig david plak). she might have thought that...i'm not gonna go anywhere since i was SO into her b4 this...well think again...~

i always like the phrase "Expect the Unexpected" ....bcoz it's really true...there's quite a few unexpected things that happened...and i feel blessed.

what else...? hmm..oh yeah...for some reason...Exorage was nominated for Anugerah Bintang Popular Berita Harian...! 1st time when Dhan told me about it...i was like..."Serious Shit...??!!...". we never thought of ourselves as 'popular'.

ok...bandwise...Exorage...right now we're having a little issue on finding the right drummer...yeah...it seems, after Sahlan(lando) went on a "break" to further he's studies...(it's a decision that we [the other bandmembers] didn't fully agreed upon...but it's for the betterment of his future...so we let him go) we really having a hard time finding a replacement. damn...i never really thought that it would be THIS difficult.

on another note...The Sofa Sessions are back...yeah...this was once the band that i joined along with my brother...well...he joined 1st...i came in later. but due to some personal problem at one time...the band disbanded. but now the new line-up doesn't include my brother anymore(since he's in australia rite now)...he's replaced (for certain shows) by Faidhal 'Mustaq' Faizan frm Keladak. right now The Sofa Sessions is performing (mostly) at Malone's Sooka Sentral every Friday and Saturday(until further notice).

so yeah...i guess that's it for now...

- Stixx, Fixxing out...~! -

Currently...

2010-12-22T06:25:00.000-08:00

Rabu - DuaPuluhDuaDuaBelasDuaKosongSatuKosong - what can i say about my current mood...? all i can say is...i'm happy. i can't really remember when was the last time i felt this kind of bliss. some maybe asking why...why do i feel so happy. well as of now...i just can't say out loud. gonna keep it to myself for awhile...when the time comes...i'll let it be known...

- stixx, fixxing out...~! -

Monday That I Like

2010-12-19T19:30:00.000-08:00

Isnin - DuaPuluhDuaBelasDuaPuluhSepuluh - again...it's been awhile since i last updated my blog. quite a lot of things happened...and i do mean A LOT. job-wise...nothing new...same ol'..same ol'. oh yeah...today is monday...and hence the title...it's a monday that i like...why...? because i'm on leave. i don't usually take leave on mondays...not that i don't want to...but i just can't. usually it's a busy day at the workplace.

another friend of mine just got married...congratulations to zam nayan & nadia. demm...~ suddenly the pressure is on...ahaha~!

ok...what else...? oh yeah...we(Exorage) finally got our own jamming/recording(soon) studio...kiranyer...senang la sket nak practice...takde la asik nak kena booking...pastu nak kena bayar sewa jamming...sejam rm30. but it's kinda like a big investment for us...and it's all thanx to the effort of Hatta(synth player) & Dhan(vox/guitars). rite now...it's just a empty, carpeted hall...but we gonna make changes...little by little...

talking about Exorage...we were supposed to play in Langkawi last week...but alas...cancelled...demmit...terasa agak kesialan lah...wat penat practice je. and still about Exorage...we're having problems with finding a drummer...the current/replacement/session drummer that we have...is starting to show lack of interest. shits...never knew it's not easy to find a drummer...i thought there are a handful of drummers...but yeah...maybe the statement is correct...there are a lot of drummers out there...but not to Exorage's specs.

i've been stupid for the past 3-4yrs(or so)...i think it's time to end it...who knew it took 13yrs for us to find each other...

- stixx, fixxing out~! -

Hari Ni Sebelum Sahur...

2010-08-29T11:36:00.000-07:00

Isnin - TigaPuluhKosongLapanDuaPuluhSepuluh - ahaa...hari ni aku berblog sebelum sahur plak...so...apa citer ari ni...?? takde citer menarik sangat...except...kawan aku sorang ni...dah lama tak berawek...skang sudah ada teman...yeah...~!! way to go man...happy for you. actually...diorang dah couple beberapa minggu lepas(kot...aku pun lupa...ada dia citer...tapi dah lupa)...but then again...they 1st met 2days ago. and yeah...from the looks of it...they're happy together. hopefully the relationship will last.

ok...why am i blogging about this...saje je...well ok la...bukan saje je. sebenornyer...aku, agak iri hati. sedikit la...ye lah...i've been longing to be in a relationship for quite sometime now. but i'm still single. and aku rasa kawan aku yang baru couple nih...faham perasaan aku...so dia dok la cakap..."don't worry dude...ur time will come...". yeah...i know that...in fact...i know that so well...that i'm kinda like sick of it. but don't get me wrong...i'm not turning gay or sumthing.

wait...i'm beginning to be depressed again...this is not good. i have to look at this matter in a positive way. ok...so which angle...? fine...i'll find it soon.

on a positive note...aku tgh cuba nak buat lagu...a friend wrote it down as a poem...but he wants me to compose it into a song. i've been in a slump lately. but...suddenly, i've found this riff...pada aku riff ni mmg best(pada aku la...), and i was so excited...intend to make this riff for the intro part. ok...that part's done. but then...when it comes to the verses and chorus...again...i'm stumped. aiyoooh...~ haaaiiih....lek lek...i guess i can never rush creativity...i have to take it one step at a time...

that's it...~

- stixx, fixxing out...~ -

Sesudah Sahur Lagi...

2010-08-28T14:45:00.000-07:00

Ahad - DuaSembilanKosongLapanDuaPuluhSepuluh - eheh...lagi sekali...aku wat blog after sahur...actually aku dah sahur awal dah...tapi aku berjaga sampai abih waktu sahur(nasib baik la sok cuti...kalo ari keje...mmg aku tak wat camni...). okeh...apa plak aku nak merapu pepagi buta nih...?

ok...start with a little bit after midnite...aku terasa amat bosan...aku rasa amat tidak best(macam biasa la...), plus...aku terasa lapar...so...aku gi la mamak kat sect15 bangi...aku gi naik skuter...mmg aku lagi senang gi memana bawak skuter...ye lah...parking tak menjadi masalah...nak2 plak mlm tadi...ada football match...mmg sesak la area 15 tu. tensen gak aku...apa la seronok tgk football match nih...? tapi...kalo dah pasal minat...aku mmg takkan argue la...most people...kalo dah pasal minat...mmg sanggup wat memacam...just like me & music. bleh dikatakan sanggup perabih semata2 sbb music.

so aku melabuhkan diri atas kerusi(nak try atas meja...tapi takut kena humban keluar kedai...) dlm kedai mamak yang selalu aku melepak online sorang2...Ameerali. aku order nasi puteh+paprik daging...& teh ais. sementara tunggu order sampai...aku online lah.

sebelum aku keluar umah...aku ada post status kat FB...asking about where can i get my hands on some antidepressant pills...and surprisingly...ada beberapa rakan2 yang gave comments about that status...tq my friends...but dont worry...it's not that i'm really gonna take it. it's just that...i was kinda down(depressed?)...and only felt like popping a pill. and yeah...they(my friends) were like asking why...and i can only answer to a certain few...

masa online FB...i was talking to a friend via the FB chat(agak menyakitkan ati chatting ngan menatang FB chat nih)...she asked about the status...so i tell her why...and she gave me her feedback about it. she told me she went thru the same thing...well not exactly the same thing...but...more or less i guess...and she did mention about her friends got bored of her constant complains...and they somewhat abandoned her...now...that's harsh...no...i think that's cruel. but then again...you have to admit...your friends...they're humans...and as humans...they themselves have their own problems to think about...so...i guess they can only standby you up to a certain extent.

so...she went on giving me advice and opinions(most appreciated, tq)...masa dok borak tu...tetiba people started to go inside the mamak...i was like..."uh-oh.. "...apa yang aku risaukan...mmg bebetul terjadi...hujan turun...and it's a downpour...mmg lebat gile...mmg aku bertapa lebih lama la kat mamak tu...tapi, mujur la durasi nyer tak lama mana...timing hujan berenti pun ngam2 masa laptop aku nak abis bateri...so i pack my stuff and head home. baru lepas hujan...aku naik skuter tanpa sweater and cargo shorts...freakishly cold...~!!!

reached home @ 3am...and i thought about what she told me...well...she told me a lot...but one thing about changing my attitude...that is something, i should do...i have to start to look at things positively...(being a pessimist...that is not an easy task...). how...? well i guess there's only one way to find out...

my my...this turned out to be a long entry...eheh...

- stixx, fixxing out...~! -

Sesudah Sahur...the 2nd.

2010-08-16T12:17:00.000-07:00

Selasa - TujuhBelasLapanDuaPuluhSepuluh - Sahur awal lagi hari ni...like i've mentioned earlier(well, i think i've mentioned it)...bila hari bekerja...aku sahur awal.

tak tau apa nak citer pun...ermm, ok la...sebenarnyer banyak....just tak tau nak citer camne. buat masa ni...mmg aku terasa tak baper best...it's not that i feel sumthing bad gonna happen...cuma...ntah...terasa tak best lah...i mean...i'm not that happy. heh...aku rasa mesti ada yang menyampah bila aku dok kata rasa tak best...rasa tak best. tapi nak buat camne...dah aku rasa gitu.

missing someone...but i just don't know for sure whether that someone misses me or not...i don't think so. damn...feel so empty...hollow. usually at times like this...i always ask myself...is it so hard for someone like me to be loved? i mean...i can love someone whole-heartedly...i'd give my all for someone. but...it feels like...i'm the only one who's giving.

i envy...to all those people who give...and get back what they deserved. unlike me...

ah well...i guess i cut the crap here...

- stixx, fixxing out...! -

Sesudah Sahur...

2010-08-15T12:46:00.000-07:00

Isnin - EnamBelasLapanDuaPuluhSepuluh - Ok...hari ni dh masuk hari ke-6 posa. heh...jgn dihitung hari...kalo tak mmg la rasa lama. ada beberapa perkara yang aku suka pasal bulan posa nih. satu...obviously sbb kita menjalan kan ibadah. itu mmg perkara yang paling penting la. other than that...best sbb...mmg bleh jimat duit...ye lah...breakfast ngan lunch tak boleh makan...maka...duit tak kuar lah. and yeah...last sekali...bleh turunkan berat badan...tapi selalunyer masa bulan posa je la turun...masa raya pertama...dah naik balik dah...itu mmg konfirm...eheh. nak wat camner...sah2 masa raya tu...dah gi melawat umah sedara-mara...bila dah sampai tu...mmg akan ada makanan yang terhidang...kang tak makan...kecik ati plak...maka...'terpaksa' lah...eheheh.

adu la...apa la aku merepek pepagi buta nih...heh, mcm title entry aku yang...mmg aku baru lepas sahur...selalu nyer aku sahur kol 5pg...tapi ari ni rasa nak sahur awal sket...sbb ari ni aku keje. aduu...lemau gile sior keje time posa nih...tapi ada best nyer gak...bila keje ni...rasa cepat je masa berlalu...tapi itu pun kekadang tgk keadaan ler...

haih...sudah lah...tido time...

- stixx, fixxing out..!-

It's Been Quite Awhile

2010-08-08T11:21:00.000-07:00

Isnin - SembilanLapanDuaPuluhSepuluh - Uih...~ lama sangat aku tak update blog aku nih...the last published blog was 12th Feb 2010. but yeah...even if i update my blog frequently...i don't think there's anyone gonna read it.

so...why do i blog...? no specific reason actually...well, ok...maybe there's a few reasons...usually just to kill time...and maybe just to vent out some suppressed feelings or thoughts. there are things...that, in a way...i can never explain or describe by talking...so...i write it down...or type it out. and doesn't have to be for someone...or anyone for that matter...i just need a place to vent it out.

ok...again...it's been awhile...so like...there's lots of things happened...good, bad...quite a lot...but i don't remember all of it in detail though. let's start with the not so good things...my dad got admitted...erm...like i said...can't remember the details...so...i can't remember when...but it was last month (july2010)...because of hypoglycemia(i think i spelled it right)...for those who were wondering what is this hypo thingy...it's basically...the sugar level in your blood went TOO low...and you get seizures.

seriously...luckily i was listening to my handphone mp3 player while i was going back frm work...i was riding my scooter at that time(it's dangerous actually...yeah, i know)...but because of that...i can answer the call...it was my mom...she said my dad was really sick...with that...i just went full throttle back home. when i arrived...what i saw...was something that i can never forget. my dad lying on the bed...sweating...with blood and spit spurted out frm his mouth...surprisingly at that time i can still keep calm and call the hospital for an ambulance.

and a few minutes after that...the ambulance came...and took my dad to the hospital...and my dad stabilized shortly after...Syukur. he's ok now...but not as energetic as before. still...i'm glad.

alright...that's the not so good thing. for the good part...this involving my band Exorage...we get to play for a BIG event...MTV WorldStage 2010...~!!! eheheh...well, actually not the main event itself...just a side-event...but still..it's MTV... =D. i think i'll tell the story in detail...in another entry...~

Journal Kebosanan

2010-02-12T08:05:00.000-08:00

Friday - TigaBelas0TwoDua0Satu0 - aku amat bosan...mmg bosan giler ah. huhuhu...keje ari ni...mmg bz...seriously...sampaikan aku ngan dhan disuruh kuar rehat awal...seawal 10.30pg...bagi aku...itu amat awal untuk lunchbreak. mana tak nyer...breakfast pagi tu tak smpat digest lagi. semua gara2 tak nak ada yang kuar time lunchbreak yang sebenar. disebabkan kenyang lagi...penyudahnyer...aku ngan dhan lepak minum kat mamak.

masa dah abis banking hours plak...ada plak la customer bodo tolol yang mintak tunggu kejap...sebab nak bank in bonus untuk pasa pekerja nyer...company cina...so..go figure lah...obviously nak masukkan kan duit blanje staff2 diorang untuk beraya. bongok betol...datang awal2 takleh ker...ni orang sumer dah nak balancing...baru terhegeh2 nak datang bank.

aku sampai umah...lepas abis chores...aku melepak dlm bilik...shits...mmg terasa bosan gile...~!! then...aku terlelap jap...ada la...setengah jam kot...still rasa bosan. aku pack laptop...tukar baju...start enjin kete...kuar umah. tapi aku tak tau nak gi mana sebenarnyer. aku drive aimlessly around bangi...sampai la aku wat keputusan nak lepak kat mamak sect 3tambahan, sbb masa ni aku dah lapor...orait gak la...orang tak ramai sangat.

tgk la pasni wat per plak...~

Alone For Real

2010-02-08T21:15:00.000-08:00

Selasa - Ziro9Ziro2TwoZiro1Ziro - aku la ni tgh dok lepak kat mamak masa lunchtime...tak terasa nak makan sangat...so...aku order roti canai telo. abih makan dah pun masa aku type blog nih. mmg lama aku tak tulis apa2 kat blog nih. ada je beberapa benda best berlaku in the past few days nih...tapi tu ah...agak malas la plak nak type. heh....anyway...aku sekarang agak bosan...so...aku pun update la blog nih...

orait...apa nak citer eh...? hurmm...oh ye...skang ni aku dok sorang kat umah...parents aku dah pindah sementara ke Australia...dok ngan abang aku kat sana. ye lah...abang aku baru dapat anak...so...diorang ke sana nak tolong abang aku la...kot. ehehe....sesambil tu...bercuti la...jejalan tgk negara orang. seriously...umah boleh dikatakan besor la...aku plak dok sorang...gila sangap dowh...cuak2 pun ada gak la...ye lah...memcm orang kata pasal dok umah sensorang nih...tapi...aku wat sebodo yang mungkin...

ok...selain daripada itu...sabtu lepas...exorage ada dpt invitation main show kat UKM...kat kolej keris mas...heh...lama dah tak gi situ...the last time gi situ masa ada battle of the bands...di mana kitorang menang 1st place...dan si dhan menang best vocals malam tu. but this time kitorang datang situ as a performer...not a contestant. ok...what can i say...paling tak puas ati pasal sound lah...mmg crappy giler...sorry to say. mmg kitorang tak puas ati. tapi...we still make do of whatever yang ada...so like...best gak ah perform...walopun sound tak gempak. and crowd pun very supportive...

apart from that...the only one thing yang kena diberi pujian adalah...organizer punyer hospitality...seriously mmg tak jangka...layanan diorang tiptop giler...tima kasih diucapkan...

demm...aku rasa, dah lari daripada title nih...ahahah...tapi nak wat camner...apa je lagi yang aku leh citer pasal aku dok umah sorang...? takde pe sangat...bosan...lonely giler...and aku kena rajinkan diri wat keje umah...siram pokok...basuh baju...sidai baju...kalo makan plak...kalo malas kuar...atau sebab yang lebih utama...duit takde...kena la masak sendiri...basuh pinggan mangkuk sendiri...huhuhu.

dah la...tak tau nak citer apa dah...

Pagi Yang Indah

2010-01-26T15:17:00.000-08:00

Rabu - 2Tujuh0Satu2Ziro1Ziro - hari ni aku terjaga sedikit awal daripada biasa. ntah naper aku terasa nak tgk2 blog aku nih. rasanya dah agak lama aku tak jenguk blog aku...huhuhu...tuan punyer blog pun lama tak masuk...apatah lagi orang lain.

nak kata takde apa2 menarik berlaku...rasanya...banyak. ada terniat nak bercerita kat blog nih. tapi itu lah dia nye...niat tu ada...kerajinan tu yang amat kurang. Laziness IS a disease.

nnt lah...aku akan try merajinkan diri untuk bercerita...

demm...kena siap nak agi keje plak nih...haaiihh...~

Merapu Sebelum Tido

2010-01-07T10:03:00.000-08:00

Friday - LapanSatuDuaRibuSepuluh - humm...dah pukul dua...aku berjaga lagi...dem...besok nak keje. ingat nak tido awal tadi...tapi...tetiba abang aku ajak main game rally plak...eheheh...memula...ok la...seround dua...tau2 dah dekat kol dua...ni dpt berenti main pun sbb anak pompuan dia dah nangis. huhuhu...who would've thought...abang aku akhir nyer dpt anak. and knowing my brother...heh...aku terasa cam...pelik dan pada masa yang sama...kagum gak...ahhaha. ye lah...masa kecik2 dulu...aku selalu portray abg aku ni seorang yang amat garang...agak panas baran gak ah...huhuhu. well...ppl do change...yang beza nyer...antara...berubah jadi lebih baik...or jadi lebih teruk.

which...kinda made me think...demm...camne la bila tiba masa nyer...aku ada anak. huhuhu...aku tak berani nak imagine. boleh la aku imagine aku ni...akan jadi seorang ayah yang selamba rock...rilek...cool. tapi masa ni je la...huhuh...nnt bila bebetul ada anak...hoh...tak tau la pe jadik.

nape tetiba aku leh citer pasal anak plak nih...? awek pun aku blom ada weiii... ah....biar la...tak yah la pikir sekarang...huhuhu

Arrival-Soundstage-Awesome-Haunting-Backache

2010-01-04T08:45:00.000-08:00

FrYdaY - Zero1Zero1Twenty1Zero - woah...it's 2010 already...seriously...terasa mcm...tau2 dah 2010. so...ok...dah 2010...abang aku baru balik dari australia...dia balik sekejap je la...well...maybe a month or so.dia balik ni pun sebab nak uruskan hal anak pompuan dia...yes...that's rite ppl...abang aku sudah ada anak...~!! eheheh...adellia...(i think that's the spelling...takpe la...nnt aku tanya bebetul camne nak eja nama anak buah aku yang baru nih..) eheheh.

tapi...masa ari abang aku balik tu...on that day gak...exorage kena bertolak ke melaka. final ROTTW Soundstage.so...lepak jap je la ngan abang aku. bertolak sumwhere near...12noon...i think...pegi dua kete...dhan, lan & pasangan memasing gi satu kete...dan aku...kete penuh ngan peralatan. kira aku dah biasa drive solo la. ada la kelebihan dan kekurangan dia...kelebihan...aku leh pasang lagu sekuat mana yang aku ske...kekurangan nyer...bila ngantuk...takde teman berborak la...takkan aku nak cakap sorang2...itu bakal menjadi masalah tu.

so...around 2...sampai la melaka...trus menuju ke hotel yang telah dibook oleh dhan. seriously...hotel ni...mcm hotel dalam citer antu...basically...just like a rundown hotel. but...since dah takde tmpt lain...jadii laa. memula mintak apartment...and the hotel staff kata ada vacancy...bila dah book apa sumer...tetiba diorang call balik kata...not available la plak...so...diorang bagi kitorang 2 rooms. and these rooms are very spacious. bila dah dapat bilik masing2...kitorang pun melepak ler tunggu petang. kitorang dijadualkan main petang...kol 6.45pm....tapi berdasarkan pengalaman...kitorang bajet...main malam.

mmg betol pun...kitorang sampai melaka mall dlm kol 7...tanya2 orang...diorang kata...delay sejam masa nak start...huhuhu...mmg seperti yang dijangka...but...walopun begitu...huhuhu...sound kali ni mmg gempak...huhuhu...tak macam masa rock the world....langit bumi ah beza nyer. masa tu cuaca...mmg best...a bit cloudy...and very windy. tapi bila lagi a few bands b4 our turn...langit menjadi lebih gelap...demmit...tolong la jangan ujan...at least kalo nak ujan pun...tunggu la sampai kitorang abih perform. but it did rained...fortunately...gerimis yang amat halus...masa kitorang perform. that nite...have to be THE BEST onstage experience for us...seriously mmg best. tak tau nak terangkan camne dah...uhuhuhu.

^gambar ihsan dari nazrulhad hashim

malang nyer...exorage hanya dapat masuk top ten saje...huhuhu...ah...tak kisah lah...janji puas ati perform kat rooftop...open air...huhuhu...priceless siots...hehee.

lepas tu...kitorang gi makan...dkt this one restaurant nama dia...Sri Percik...huhuhu...makan masa tu umpama celebrate menang 1st place...huhuhhu...mmg kenyang gile mkn mlm tu. dan selepas segala makanan dah naik ke mata...kitorang balik le ke hotel.

dan pada malam itu...dyana telah dikacau...shits...mmg ada "benda" hotel nih...ye lah...hotel lama...hurmm...aku seboleh2nyer wat tak tau...ye lah...awk bukannyer berani sangat...huhuhu. mlm tu...aku terasa tido aku sering terganggu...kejap2 terjaga...kejap2 terjaga...tensi siot~!

pagi esok nyer...aku bangun...dan pinggang aku sangat sakit...FAK~! ni sbb show mlm semlm...aku tak stretching kot...huhuhu...giler sakit...dan amat tidak selesa...huhuhu. bila dah bangun tu...terus la siap2...berus gigi...basuh muka...dan turun untuk breakfast. 1st time siot...aku turun gi breakfast kat hotel...aku sampai2 kat bawah...makanan tak siap lagi...ape benda la punye servis. ok la...sementara nak tunggu makanan disediakan...aku merayau la keliling hotel tu...nak carik swimming pool...niat di hati...lepas dah breakfast...dah lepak2 jap...nak terjun kolam. turun tangga sket...jumpa dah kolam...peh...mmg besor gile swimming pool dia...tapi...aku takkan berenang dalam tu...berendam pun aku tak mau. sbb secara normal nyer...air kolam ni...kaler nye biru (itu pun sbb kebiasaan nyer...tile kolam tu...orang pilih kale biru)...tapi kolam depa ni...AIR nyer kaler HIJAU...tak nampak dasar kolam...gile babi...tak tau la baper tahun tak cuci kolam tu.

bila makanan telah tersedia...aku tgk la apa yang ada...humm..sausage...baked beans...nasi goreng...mee goreng...roti...jem...butter...ngan bubur nasi...isk...dah lapor sangat....blasah je lah. lepas abis makan...kembali melepak di bilik. sesambil lepak tu...packing la gak sket2...masa packing tu lah...aku wat keputusan nak balik bangi terus...tak larat lah...badan aku sakit...huhuhu...so...after 12noon...aku balik bangi terus...dhan, lan & pasangan memasing...diorang gi jejalan sekitar bandar melaka.

aku tiba bangi...dkt2 kol 3ptg masa tu...~

Xfresh - 2010

2009-12-31T10:40:00.000-08:00

Jumaat - Zero1Zero12Zero1Zero - Happy New Year...~!!! demm...suddenly it's 2010 already. sedar tak sedar la gak. huhuhu...and yeah...jiher ada mention about...bila tiba nyer tahun baru...soalan2 yang sama akan ditanya...seriously aku menyokong. aku pun ada gak ditanya...and selalu aku jawab jer...lepak kat umah. dari dulu sampai la skang nih...aku mmg tak penah celebrate new year kat tmpt lain...kat bangi je aku celebrate...itu pun takde la mercun ke apa ker. it's either kat umah...or...kekadang tu jer...gi kuar mkn2 ngan a couple of friends. nak gi kl ke ...memana ke...nak celebrate...shits...mmg sorry ler...i'm not going. jalan surely jamm punyer...sampai kat sesuatu tmpt tu plak...dah pasti sesak...huhuhuhu...aku mmg tak berapa gemar sesak2 nih...kecuali gigs la...eheheh. so...daripada dok abih duit, tenaga dan masa...pada aku...elok lagi la..aku lepak kat area kawasan tmpt tinggal...ataupun kat umah.

but ada this one time...aku terjebak celebrate nu year kat kl...member2 ajak kuar...kata gi minum2 kat bangi jer...sekali...bila aku dok dlm kete...diorang kata nak gi kl...aku kata...takmo ikut...tapi diorang paksa gak...so...aku pasrah je la. sampai kt kl...jalan mmg jamm nak mati. serious fuck ah...depan KLCC traffic tak bergerak...orang sumer siap kuar kete...nak tgk fireworks...mmg sial ah malam tu...seb baik la aku menumpang...kalo tak mmg aku dah balik ah.

anyway...on new year's eve...exorage ada interview ngan Xfresh.fm. and this was our 2nd time. mmg tak jangka dpt kembali menjejakkan kaki ke dalam konti xfresh. and i guess kali ni kitorang lebih rilek ah...tak kaku semacam cam tahun lepas. yeah...quite a way to end 2009.

and much2 later on...exorage will be performing at Soundstage final...at melaka mall. also...my brother's coming home from Australia. a great way to start 2010 with...eheheh.

thinking back...we did accomplished quite a lot during these few years. just hope we can be better...and eventually the best...of what we can do.

RokDeWerl-SoundDefect-Hujan(not the band)

2009-12-29T06:23:00.000-08:00

Selasa - TwentySembilanTwoBelasTuZiroZiroNain - emm...lama rasanyer tak update blog. sebenar-benarnyer...after Rock The World 09...dah plan dah nak update dalam blog...pengalaman perform kat RTW09. but then again...all i can say is...really disappointed with RTW09.

dah lah jadual diawalkan...but...ok la...alasan diorang...sbb polis dah kasi arahan...supaya RTW09 ditamatkan awal...mereka tak benarkan RTW09 berlangsung sehingga lewat2 malam...sbb...berdekatan ngan residential area. tu bleh terima sket la. but the major disappointment was when we perform. ok...diorang suruh datang SOUNDCHECK session TWO(2) days b4 the event. so, ok lah...kitorang wat soundcheck apa sumer...and at that point of moment and time...the sound was nice. dan dah nama nyer soundcheck...bila dah sumer ok...SEPATUTNYE...note down la setting2 kitorang...sekali bila on the day itself...bunyi mmg hancur...mmg bangsat giler ah...serious shitss...sound tak balance langsung...soundman ada...tapi...serupa tak payah wujud di muka bumi nih.

pastu plak...petang tu ujan...kalo ujan sikit2...takpe lah jugak. ini ujan lebat giler...! sampai aku terpaksa berteduh bawah banner Twisties. and then pasal ujan yang sangat lebat tu juge lah...show kena delay...sbb nak kena cover equipments...kalo tak kena ujan rusak la plak...lagi haru kalo jadi gitu.

aku tunggu sampai monoloque punyer show...performance best...tapi..sound still segampang mungkin...huhuhu. that's it lah...tak larat nak tunggu...dlm kol 6 lebih kitorang chow...

demmit...sepatutnyer...a big event like RTW09 ni...could've...no...should've been...way better. tapi...apekan daye...pasrah je la...huhuhu...

C-D-V-D-R

2009-12-25T11:41:00.000-08:00

Jumaat - Sabtu : 25/26DecemberTwoZerOZerONinE - pagi jumaat aku bangun agak lambat...ok..that's not quite right...aku bangun mmg lambat...12.30tghari. huhuhuhu...tapi seb baik la cuti...Hari Krismas. waktu siang nyer...mmg takde apa2 aktiviti sangat...just after solat jumaat...aku lepak jap ngan bandmates. after that aku banyak abih kan masa dok umah.

oh yer...b4 that...fidah, a friend of mine...text me saying she's coming over to bangi. nak jumpa aban katanyer...and pastu sekali la jumpa aku. orait lah tu...sbb lama gak tak jumpa dia nih. she's a very good friend...mmg baik dia nih...eventho i've done sumthing that i'm not supposed to...she still accept me as a friend. aku rasa kalo orang lain...takkan nak berkawan ngan aku kot. ok..anyway...we meet up at McDonalds nearby kompleks pkns bangi...sekali ngan aban. just lepak and talked for awhile. aku rasa tak sampai sejam kot...then memasing kena balik. aku sambung lepak kat umah.

^supposedly a CD...

keesokan hari nyer Exorage perform kat RTW09...so...mlm ni...kitorang wat preparations lah...gi jamming...praktis...print & burn kitorang nyer cd. but during that time...sumthing went wrong...the printable cd that dhan bought...turns out to be...printable DVDRs...~!!! DEMMIT...~!! bodo punyer orang kedai...padahal dhan dah mintak dah printable CDR. mmg terus terasa ilang semangat siot...huhuhu. disebabkan dah beli...we just continued on...harap jadi audio cd...penyudah nyer...sumer kena jadi data disc...shits...meaning, kalo sesapa beli...itu pun kalo ada...diorang tak leh pasang dalam cd player...dvd players. haihh...tapi mmg tak leh wat pe dah ler...masa mmg dah suntuk...huhuhu...well...again, a lesson learned...the hard way. heh...~

Soundstage Melaka Mall

2009-12-20T09:02:00.000-08:00

Jumaat - 8Belas2Belas2SifarSifar9 - orait...dah lama gak rasanyer aku tak update blog aku nih...well...for one thing...mmg kinda bz for the past few weeks. work & band practice...kitorang (exorage)...kena wat persediaan...untuk Soundstage. pada yang tak tau apa itu Soundstage...secara ringkas nyer...it's THE battle of the bands that most of the indipendent bands are waiting for. Soundstage ni la selalu nyer jadi batu loncatan...or...starting point untuk certain bands that got lucky. but yeah...it's not all about luck...lets just say...luck plays a very minor role.

so...ok...kitorang gerak dari bangi...somewhere around 11am...well actually plan nak kuar lagi awal...tapi...dydo...awek lan...ada masalah kereta...her car broke down sumwhere nearby bandar sri putra. so...being the ever so concerned boyfriend...lan gi tolong lah...well...i'd do the same if it happened to my gf. aaaanyway...after everything settled...kitorang pun bertolak ler...dhan yang drive...coz, lesen aku dah mati...tak sempat nak renew...eheh.

somewhere around 3 sumthing, kitorang sampai ler melaka. the next challenge...mencari a place to stay...cripes...mmg tak terpikir yang sekarang skool holiday...so...all the hotels...motels...travellers lodge...even rumah tumpangan ah seng pun FULL...~! FAK...~!!! but we continued on mencari...dan setelah hampir sejam...jumpa gak la hotel yang ada available room...Straits Meridian Hotel. orait la hotel ni...harga patut...siap ngan breakfast...ada swimming pool(tapi tak berpeluang nak mandi kolam sebab asik dok ujan sini).

so...lepas dah masuk bilik...unpack...lepak2...mandi...then...bersiap gi mkn. nak gi makan...next to the hotel...ada kedai makan...eheheh...biasa la...save cost...kalo makan di hotel tu...tak tau la baper depa charge. yang kedai tu pun...kira orait la...tapi...tak banyak variety. lepas dah mkn tu...nearby the hotel area...ada Pasaraya Keluargaku. disebabkan tak tau nak buat apa mlm tu...kitorang decided gi tgk2(TGK2 la sangat...~!) barang kat situ. lan ngan dhan ni dok tgk jeans...aku personally...mmg tak penah ada jeans...i mean...yang beli sendiri tu...memang takde. jeans yang aku ada pun...gf lama yang belikan...leh kira ngan sebelah tangan jer baper kali aku pakai jeans tu. aku mmg tak minat jeans. tapi...budak dua orang ni...racun mmg kuat...maka...mlm tu...1st time aku beli jeans...~! ahahaha...mmg siot ah..eheheh. after that...kembali ke bilik...on tv...Charlie and The Chocolate Factory tgh on...huhuhu...tak penah tgk citer nih...so...layan la movie tu...huhuhu...sakit ati siot tgk movie kat tv...iklan tak hengat nyer...huhuhu. lepas abih citer...terus tidoooo.

Sabtu - 9Belas2Belas2KosongKosong9 - aku terjaga kol 7.45am...yang lain aku rasa cam dah bangun...cuma belum bangun dari tilam memasing...huhuhu...pastu memasing paksa diri bangun...gi siap2...basuh muka...gosok gigi...dan pegi breakfast. orait gak lah menu hotel nih...ehehe...mkn dah free kan...so...2-3 round gak ah. lepas dah abih makan...gi balik bilik...dan bantai tido balik...ahahahah...~!!!

"WOI...bangun woii...~ check-out kol 12.00tghari....~!!! skang dah kol 12.30 dowwhh...~!!!" aku dgr suara dhan separa menjerit. FAK...~!!! terlajak siot...~!!! kelam kabut kitorang bersiap sumer...by the time bagi balik kunci...masa tu dah kol 1.00pm...seb baik la diorang tak charge extra...huhuhu. kitorang terus tuju Melaka Mall...situ la venue Soundstage kali ni. masa tu...masih hujan...dan...segala2nye untuk Soundstage...blom siap. stage nyer saje yang ada...huhuhu. bila dah tgk camtu...kitorang pun amik keputusan round2 mall tu...tapi...nothing much sangat pun sana.

fast forward a bit...the rain stopped at around 7.oopm. FAK...~!! just imagine kitorang berkampung kat mall tu baper jam. tunggu diorang setup everything...around 8.45pm...the guest band for that day perform...Rock & Roll Jon...very good band...lagu catchy =D. oh yeah...we're the 5th band to perform that nite. huhuhu...it was fun...really fun...mmg enjoy giler. well...err...eheh...eventho ada some minor glitch during the starting part of "Insanity Love"...but dhan...really manage to cover things up...and we really did play our hearts out.

didn't get the chance tgk sampai abis...tak larat dah...plus...mmg kena balik mlm tu gak. so...bertolak pulang ke bangi around 12.00++...again...dhan kena drive...sampai umah kol 2.00am. well...that's basically our trip to melaka...and 2 days after that...we received the result...and we made it to the finals...we're one of the top 5...woohooo...~!! that's unexpected...seriously...eheheh...meaning...we're going back to melaka...that's gonna be another adventure...~

Of Keyboards & Numbers

2009-12-14T04:56:00.000-08:00

Isnin - 4Teen2BelasTuZiroZiroNain - setelah cuti 3 ari...perasan malas untuk kembali bekerja sungguh meluap2...shits...literally have to drag myself out of bed. lepas dah mandi bersiap apa sumer...aku kuar la umah...awal gak masa tu...around 7 sumthing. so...i took my time...bawak moto rilek je...bila dah bawak moto style rilek2 nih...fikiran tu kekadang menerewang. i thought to myself...i never liked working in a bank...so what the f*ck am i doing now...? i can only laugh at myself for the time being.

i never was a banker to begin with...i started working for Bumiputera Commerce Finance. jadi kerani gak la masa tu...tapi...aku keje dalam opis...bukan dalam bank. and seriously...at that time...aku leh terus terang cakap...idup aku lebih senang...ye lah...keje walaupun berlambak...tapi OT sentiasa approve...masyuk la aku masa keje BCF. aku masa tu keje bahagian loan disbursement...applications yang nak diproses...mmg banyak...serious...tapi aku takde hal punyer. tapi the main reason aku happy...sbb aku tak perlu interact DIRECTLY dgn customer...tak macam keje aku sekarang.

then...the bank merge with southern bank...and that's where everything changed. aku dimasukkan dlm banking line...shits...benda paling aku tak suke...terpakse gak aku telan...so...bermula lah kisah idop aku bergaul ngan duit dan nombor2...huhuhu...dlm suke x suke...even dah beberapa kali aku amik keputusan nak berenti...diam tak diam...aku dah hampir 7thn dgn bank...damn...never thought it would be that long. tapi bila dah lelama nih...rasa malas plak nak berenti....sbb...kalo aku berenti...then carik keje lain...blom tentu aku leh dapat gaji sepertimana yang aku dapat sekarang...cuti pun mesti revert balik kepada 14-16 hari setahun. tapi ada a friend of mind cakap...kalo experience dah banyak...leh demand...hurmm...ntah lah...tgk lah camne...heh.

and tau2 je aku dah sampai dkt depan opis...huhuhu...(sebenarnyer bahaya memandu/menunggang dlm keadaan separa sedar)

Akreditasi

2009-12-13T09:00:00.000-08:00

Ahad - Thirteen2BelasTwentyZiroNain - hari ni...aku bangun agak awal...6.45am...sbb nye...kitorang(the band - exorage), telah bersetuju nak pergi ada this one course called Program Akreditasi Artis Tempatan dalam bidang Seni Persembahan. It was held in Subang Jaya...not quite familiar with that area...but...it's not really hard to find it...then again...kalo tak call..mmg tak jumpa la kot tmpt tu. so...kitorang bertolak dari bangi...around 9.00am. sampai dalam kol 10 lebey...located in the Taipan area. KL Music Academy nama tmpt tu...

sampai kat situ...jumpa ngan this one girl nama zila...well..i think it's zila la nama dia...crap...i'm so bad with names...kinda cute too... =P. anyway...1st thing's 1st...dia soh gi mkn...huhuhu...kami mmg pantang disuruh makan...mmg konfirm takkan ada sifat malu2 punyer. makan mihun goreng...huhuhu...sedap...tambah lagi sket lah...wuhuh...pepagi terasa cam dah heavy...ahahah.

"kelas" start somewhere around 11++am...biasa la...awal2 start klasses...sesi pengenalan...berkenalan...bla bla bla. ok...aku mmg tak penah blaja main muzik secara formal...so i know shit about those music theories or whatsoever...tau sesikit pun sbb member aku ariff ajar. so...that's what they gave lectures about...diorang ajar gak la...chord formations...and ntah hape benda lagi ntah...kena tgk nota balik...aku tak ingat...

as u can see...frm the picture above...aku tak paham langsung memula ape benda yang "cikgu" tulis...awal2 dia terang kan pun aku dok nganga. but ok la dia mengajar...kasi explain balik sumer...kira aku daripada awalnyer gelap gelita...skang ni dah samar2 lah...heh. after that...makan tengahari plak...dan lagi sekali...tara segan punya...makaaannn...~!!! rehat sejam...lepak2 sat...after then class sambung balik...adulahaiiii...nasik dah naik mata...mmg gile babi punye ngantuk ah...tak tipu...huhuhu...dan agak nyer cikgu dah nampak sekor2 layuuu je...dia soh jamm, guna score yang dia kasi...lagu belaian jiwa siot...huhuhu...bila main by heart...mmg mudah...tapi...bila try nak ikut score...mak aih...sengsara rasa...rasa itulah lagu paling susah di dunia...ye lah...orang tak biasa...silap...bukan tak biasa...tak reti langsong....~!!! tapi...slo2 dia ajar laa...eheheh.

orait lah...for the 1st day...heh...we have to come back again for another 4 sundays...huhuhu...there are probabilities that we can't make it...but...we'll try. kursus ni...bagi aku...mmg...syok...really...hurmm...how should i put it...a very good way to enhance ur knowledge about playing music. but...malang skali...eventho...kementerian dah support benda nih...kuar duit...untuk encourage bebudak muda...bermain muzik dgn cara yang betul...tapi yang datang hanya 10 orang...huhuhu...

dah ah...kena tido...AAAARRGGHH...sok keje..huhuhu...~

Tak Jangka Jumpa

2009-12-11T08:19:00.000-08:00

Sabtu - DuaBelasDuaBelasTuZiroZiroNain - Huhuhuhu...lama nyer aku tak update...heh...dah mula dah penyakit...penyakit malas nak type. tapi takleh dibiarkan...nnt jadik cam blog lama aku...terbiar gitu jer. nothing exciting happened for the past few days. nothing except...on thursday - 10thdec09 -...aku berjumpa dgn someone yang aku dah lama gile tak jumpa...pada aku la...aku rasa amat lama...tak tau la that someone tu rasa sama ke tak...huhuhu.

she came into my life somewhere in the middle of this year...masa tu wat show somewhere in cheras. menarik dia nih...comel...ada aggresiveness...and rilek jer....cool character lah...i loike...eheheh. dia main drum...siap twin pedal tu...jamming main cover lagu yang aku sendiri tak berani nak try...huhuhuhu...respek2..~

we never did plan to meet...so...pada aku...mmg totally unexpected...what a surprise indeed...~
masa jumpa tu...aaaaa....~!! aku happy sangat rasa nyer...sampai tak reti nak react camner...the awkwardness tu terasa...huhuhuhu...over excited la plak aku nih...eheheh.

jumpa...lepak...dia makan...sambil borak...aku tgk dia makan...tau2 dah satu jam...isk...aku dah kena masuk keje balik...dia plak...rupanyer baru balik dari penang...dia drive all the way...kesian siot...rabak jer rupa...so...better dia balik...get some rest...haiih...hope to see her again...

The Audition

2009-12-05T10:29:00.000-08:00

Saturday - 05-Twelve-TwoZeroZeroNine - OK...i know i posted this blog on Sunday - 06/12/2009. but what i wanna tell is what happened on the date mentioned above... =D

Orait...woke up around...9.30am...or sumthin'. Ten seconds after that...aku dapat call...si dhan...

"ko baru bangun ke...?"
"ha'ah..."
"oi..cepat sket lah siap..."
"ok ok...jap..."

call ended...shits...aku TERbangun lambat lagi. eheh...nak buat camner...the nite before...i was so damn nervous that i can't sleep. so...ok lah...aku pun bergegas la gi mandi...bersiap, apa semua...skali bila aku turun bawah...aku tgk si dhan, farah & lan dah ada kat umah aku...ler...diorang ni pun satu hal...inform la nak datang umah. heh.

off we go to The Curve...aku keta dhan dari blakang...laju siot budak bawak...baru bawak kancil je tu...agak nyer kalo dia dapat Subaru Impreza ke...Mitsu Lan Evo ke...Porsche ke...huhu...tak tau laa. dhan ikut jalan yang mmg aku tak penah lalu...or maybe...penah la lalu...2-3 tahun lepas...mmg seriously unknown to me...tapi...cepat sampai la. we arrived somewhere around 11 sumthing.

ok...the reason that we're all there...at 11 in the morning...because we're playing at Hypptune Rock The World 9 Bandsearch...at Laundry. Yeah...we tried last year...but didn't make it. So...now we're back to take another stab at it...eheheh. we're the 4th band to arrive...it's a first come, first serve basis...so...we're the 4th band to perform.

orait lah...maka...kitorang pun lepak2 la kejap...oh yer...dgn tak disangka2...officer tmpt aku keje dtg tgk kitorang perform...hoh...first time tu for a colleague frm the workplace datang tgk...eheheh. then...it's started...huhuhu...1st band naik stage...and the sound is great...mmg membuatkan aku lebih excited nak perform...but at the same time...still nervous as shit.

after that...it's our turn...FUCK...~! Serious shit cuak siot...sampai lubang nak masuk kat cable jack pun tak nampak...huhhuhhu...kitorang main lagu Adrenaline Rush & Insanity Love...both our own originals. 1st song...aku main dalam keadaan kaki & tangan menggeletar...tapi masa on the earlier part of the song lah...after that ok dah. we performed our hearts out...mmg try to impress the judges sebanyak mungkin...bila dah abis turn kitorang...perut masa tu sudah lapa. since we're basically next door to ikea...kitorang gi mkn kat ikea la...huhuhuhu...ikea meatballs...DAMMIT...~!! mmg sedap ah...plus...aku mmg dah AMAT LAMA tak makan those meatballs. 15ketul aku blasah...drinks....aku try diorang punyer pear cider...can't remember the brand name tho...pun best gak...eheheh.

lepas tu...kitorang gi satu lagi tmpt wajib bila dah sampai kt sana...Bentley Music...biasa la...window shopping alat2 muzik...eheheh. but to my surprise...Deja Voodoo Spells is playing there today...diorang main hebat...tight giler...aku rasa macam nak tempeleng je drummer diorang...SANGAT HANDAL...huhuhuhu...

Orait lah...rasa macam lama sangat lepak kat bentley tu...so kitorang berjalan la balik ke Laundry...nak tau result. Sepatutnyer sumer dah abis kot. bila dah sampai kt Laundry...venue cam senyap semcm...takde bising bingit lagi dah...tgh break la kot. kitorang dok lepak2 kat area Laundry tu. Kitorang dari mula lagi tak mengharap kan kemenangan...sbb...band2 yang datang...semua nye hebat2 belaka...and there were 16 bands...so like...the odds were somewhat againsts us. sekali tu...the MC...came up on stage...said sumthing...which aku tak paham bijik butir nyer...sbb kitorang dok luar...tak baper dengar sangat...tapi penghujung nyer...aku dgr EXORAGE disebut...! mmg kitorang tak jangka langsung bleh lepas audition nih...~!!! huhuhuhu...sekor2 dok sengih jer...eheheh. ROCK THE WORLD 09...here we come...~

Mata Berat - Preparation

2009-12-03T10:00:00.000-08:00

Jumaat - KosongEmpat2BelasTuZiroZiroNain - Ari ni aku kerja...dalam keadaan mengantuk...mmg seriously 'F'-ing sleepy...kira duit customer pun aku bleh terblank sekejap...mmg bahaya siot...tapi seb baik la takde shortages...masa lunch aku gi tido kat bilik meeting...bilik ni jarang orang guna...ada aircond plak tuh...mmg syok tido.

tapi dah lepas tido tu pun...rasa ngantuk tu tetap ada. demmit ah...tapi yang peliknye...dah abis waktu keje...ilang plak rasa ngantuk...heh. masa tu...ingat nak balik umah...tapi bila tgk jamm sungguh teruk...aku lepak jap kat mamak. tgh aku dok melanguk sorang2 kat mamak tu...tetiba ada orang tegur aku...memula aku ingat sape la...rupa2nye...minah sorang nih...mmg agak lama ah tak jumpa. so...dia pun lepak la sekali...so...biasa la lama tak jumpa...tanya2 la kabar...dah bertunang dah dia katanyer...and now currently working with her fiance...good for her lah.

sesambil lepak tu...aku monitor la gak keadaan jamm tu...cam tak surut2 je...shits..~ Fuck it lah...redahkan je lah. aku for one thing...mmg sangat tak suka traffic jamms...tapi...dlm case macam nih...tahan je la.

aku sampai umah...mandi...lepak jap, sambil tunggu time nak gi jamming. heh...lama siot rasanyer tak gi jamming. ni pun jamming sbb tetiba kena perform plak ari sabtu ni...dkt LAUNDRY...~!!! huhuhu...mmg agak teringin ah nak perform kat situ. this show...is actually...well...a bit like an audition for the rock the world concert. really, really, really, really, really, Really, REally, REAlly, REEAAAAAAlly hope that we can play for rock the world. we tried and failed the last time...eheheh.

Werewolves & A Girl Named Alice

2009-12-02T15:16:00.000-08:00

Khamis - ZiroTriDisemberTuZiroZiroNain - December's here...heh...it's the last month of the year already. And this is my 1st entry for the month of December. Ok...what i can say is...there's nothing much going on since the last entry. but yesterday...i watched New Moon with a couple of friends. Yeah, yeah...i know...i've heard other friends gave their comments about this movie...but what can i say...?? i really like werewolves...so...i wanna check out their version of werewolves. Seriously...hebat gak diorang nyer version...giant wolves...still on all fours....but HUGE. aku rasa itu je la part yang menarik...time werewolves hunt vampires...the fight scenes...kira orait lah. but overall...this movie sucked bcoz...it's slow...too damn slow...~! maybe sbb citer ni asalnye novel kot...?? or maybe director mcm nak dramatic sangat...sampai jadi slow....ntah lah...aku pun tak pasti...tapi mmg yang pasti...mmg lembab ah. And if i was given a choice to date either bella or alice...i would definitely choose alice...i like her...she's cute...eheh.

reached home around 1 in the morning...to bed...~

woke up at 6.30am...still kinda sleepy...but can't go back to bed...have to force myself to stay awake...kalo aku tido balik...mmg lajak ah. so...aku pun online...masa tgh online....tiba2 terdengar bunyi yang aku harap aku salah dgr. makin lama makin kuat...makin banyak...aku masa tu..."ah sudah...~!...kenapa sekarang baru nak datang...??". dan benda yang aku harap tak jadi...jadi jugak....hujan turun dgn lebat nyer pagi nih...aduuu...camne aku nak gi keje nih. heh...ok ok aku tau hujan itu rahmat. tapi...aku takmo la datang keje baju basah-basah. nak drive...jamm plak tak tentu hala...haiihh...~! kena la masuk lmbt... =P

SakitPale - Ayam - Air Hijau - Biru

2009-11-28T03:00:00.000-08:00

Sabtu - DuaPuluh8SebelasTuZiro09 - Semalam raya aji...aku dikejutkan pukul 7.30pg...masa bangun tu...aku sakit kepala yang amat sangat...(btw...kepala atas...bukan kepala bawah ye...). so lepas aku dah ready kan baju melayu apa sumer...kesakitan tu bertambah sakit. i thought to myself...oh crap...sakit sangat nih...baring la jap. aku baring...sambil mengurut kepala(yang atas)...dan tutup mata. durasi yang aku rasa mcm 5minit tu...rupa nye...lebih daripada itu...aku tgk jam...dah pukul 11.15pg...HOLY CRAPHOLE...!!! mmg terlepas semayang raya pagi tu. aku terus gi mandi...bersiap sumer...aku turun bawah...siap makcik aku pun dah ada...mak ayah aku toksah citer la...pandang aku mcm aku ni patut dijatuhkan hukuman mati sbb bunuh budak. yelah...aku tau la aku salah...sbb tak gi semayang raya...tapii...bukan disengajakan...aku mmg dah niat nak gi dah...siap dah readykan baju melayu bagai...tapi disebabkan sakit kepala(sekali lagi...yang atas wey...), aku terlelap balik...tak bajet pun sket punye lama.

selalu raye...orang masak ketupat...rendang...lemang...lontong...etc etc...tapi tahun ni...mak aku ngan akak aku join forces...buat...CIKEN CHOP...seriously...sungguh western raye aji kami tahun nih...ehehhe. lepas dah mkn2 tu...yang para lelaki...gi la solat jumaat. ayah aku gi ngan abang ipar aku...aku gi solo jer naik moto...senang...parking tak jadi masalah. kat masjid...aku jumpa bestfren aku dari zaman skola dulu...naz...sejak dia kawen...mmg tak lepak sangat dah ngan dia nih...takpe...aku mmg paham la...ye lah...orang berbini...kena la lebihkan masa ngan bini sendiri. lepas solat...aku lepak minum ngan dia...tapi sebabkan ari tu ari raye aji...so...kedai banyak tutup...penyudah nyer...kitorang lepak minum kat bangi kopitiam. kt situ aku minum air kale ijo...aponamo ntah...tapi ada peppermint ah rasa dia...menarik. lama tak lepak...so...memacam gak ah citer kuar...borak punyer borak...member aku ni nak blah...nak masuk keje katanye...ler...tak bercuti rupanyer mamat nih...aku ingatkan cuti. gigih betul bekerja...eheh.

abih lepak...aku balik umah...sambung mkn lagi sket. then naik bilik...main game jap. tgh dok main game tu...tetiba sorang lagi member aku msg...ajak lepak. masa tu plak nak ujan...so...aku soh la dia amik aku kat umah. kali ni...lepak kat old timer kopitiam plak...(eh...btul ke namenye..??) . lepas dah dapat tempat duduk...aku nak order teh ais...sekali waiter tu kata ais takde...aduu...apekes la korang nih. so...aku pun tukar sket order...aku mintak teh tarik...sekali waiter tu tanye balik...nak sejuk ke panas...? AIK...??! tadi kate ais takdak...ko leh tanya plak nak sejuk ke panas...ape ko nak letak dalam peti ais dulu ke minuman aku tu...tunggu sampai sejuk baru nak bagi kat aku...?? tapi nasib baik la waiter tu mintak maaf...sorry bang...dah selalu sangat tanya soalan tu...tersyasyul plak.

aku dah lama gak tak lepak ngan minah nih...so...memacam jugak la citer kuar...citer pasal dia...dia & boifren dia...dia & tuan rumah sewa dia...dia & kawan dia...memacam lah...sampai teh tarik yang panas tu pun abis...dan masa tgh lepak tu plak...aku notice ada van antar ice...wohoh...terus aku panggey balik waiter...dan aku mengorder air...ermmm...nama aku tak igt sangat...tapi dia kaler biru...ada rasa vanilla...dan manisan apebenda aku tak tau. but then again...it tastes ok la...aku lagi prefer air yang kaler ijo aku minum awal tadi.

dah abih lepak...dia anto aku balik umah. itu je la kot aktiviti masa raye aji aku..eheheh...mlm nye plak...aku main game sampai kol 4pg...~

Mengucapkan

2009-11-26T07:39:00.000-08:00

Thurs - TwentySixElevenTuZiroZiroNain - sepatutnye pada hari ni...aku cuti...tapi...dah boss suruh keje...so...terpaksa la. ari ni takde citer apa sangat pun sebenarnyer...esok raya...so...Selamat Hari Raya AidilAdha...~!!! =D

Down

2009-11-26T06:44:00.000-08:00

Weds - TwentyFiveElevenTuZiroZiroNain - Keje cam biasa...takde apa2 kelainan...cuma...bila time dah abih keje...aku mmg terasa sangat down...unhappy...atas sebab apa...aku pun tak pasti. aku kekadang...bila time2 aku down...aku ske wat bebenda yang tak dijangka...so...aku pun contactlah seseorang nih...dtg gile tetiba aku ajak dia jumpa...aku budget dia akan pikir ape gile mamat ni nak jumpa aku...tapi...tanpa disangka2...dia stuju nak jumpe aku.

Nama dia...ermm...aiseh...aku tak mintak permission lagi leh ke tak letak nama dia kat sini...takpe la...nnt la dulu aku tanya...bila dia kata ok...aku edit balik...eheheh. anyway...kitorang ni...lama kenal dah...ada la lebih 6 tahun kot. and kitorang suatu ketika dulu...penah la ada sejarah. tapi walopun sejarah tu berakhir...surprisingly...leh plak kitorang continue on berkawan. sampai dah beranak sorang la dia nih...lama tak lama la aku berkawan ngan dia.

so...aku pun melepak la ngan dia. aku yang down tadi...kira...dah tak down sangat dah la. i guess i need someone to get my mind off of what's been bothering me. so...thanx...

Keinginan - Kosong

2009-11-24T08:21:00.000-08:00

Selasa - 24 Sebelas TuZiroZiroNain - pagi ni aku bangun amat awal...ada la dlm kol 5pg...nak tido balik...malas...aku tak terasa nak tido balik...tetiba keinginan nak isap rokok datang. aku capai kotak rokok...kosong...shite~! fine...takpe lah...aku gi basuh muka...gosok gigi...capai kunci moto...bukak pintu depan...titisan hujan mula turun ke bumi...aduuuulaahaii. isk...penyudah nyer...aku mintak kunci kete parents aku...bila ditanya nak ke mana pepagi buta ni...?? gi kedai jap. so...dgn memandu kete parents aku...aku pun tuju la ke gerai jual rokok 24hrs drive thru kat jalan 6. lepas dah beli rokok...aku tetiba terasa nak gi lepak mamak jap. so...aku gi la ke ameerali...eheheh...lain sungguh suasana ameerali di pagi ari...eheheh...order roti canai...ngan teh tarik.

lepak sampai kol 7...balik umah...mandi...bersiap nak gi keje...ujan tak berenti lagi...isk...camno la nak gi keje nih. aku malas nak gi keje drive...jamm...wat sakit ati jer. seboleh2nye nak gi bawak moto. so...aku tunggu la sampai 8.20pg...baru aku gerak...masa tu dah reda la ujan...tinggal renyai2 je...sampai opis...kira tepat la...tak lewat...eheheh...masa aku sampai tu...system offline...oh serunok nyer...leh lepak2...tapi malangnyer...offline tu sekejap je...ampeh tol...~!

so...bekerja la...bila dah abih...lepak mamak jap...ngan ofismate2 lain...ada cerita hangat yang terhangat...eheheh...lepak dekat sejam lebih...aku bergerak pulang...sampai bangi...aku gi singgah cc...tapi kejap jer...sbb kat cc tu..connection cam sial...terus balik umah...sampai umah...lepak sat...mandi...rilek jap lagi...terasa lapa...so...kuar ler. gi ameerali lagi...aku makan secara solo...ye lah...dah gi sana sorang2...tgh dok layan makan sorang2...tetiba dapat msg dari sorang member nih...lama gak lah tak jumpe...dia ni juga merupakan ex-student aku masa aku ngajor drum sekejap...so...lepak la ngan dia plak...tgh dok lepak ngan dia...datang la plak kawan dia lagi dua orang...aku tak kenal...kira kenal masa tu la...setelah beberapa jam lepak...aku pun gi la cc type blog nih...

aduuu...bosan siot citer aku...patut tak payah wat blog kot...tapi tu ah...disebabkan macam takde sape nak amik tau "how's my day today.." so...aku pun merapu la kat sini...

String-TopUp-KepalaMasukLipas

2009-11-22T06:12:00.000-08:00

Ahad-day - Twenty-2 - Sebelas - TuZiroZiroNain :- Aku bangun dlm area kol 10pg...sedikit ngantuk...sbb mlm sebelum nyer...aku tido lewat...tapi kol baper tak ingat la plak. Malangnye tido itu can't be continued...sbb ari ni Exorage ada gig...so...kena la wat preparation. Yang termasuk dalam preparation itu ialah...tukar tali bass aku...huhuhu...lama gile tak tukor tali. Aku guna D'addario XL strings...harge...dah tak ingat...lama dah aku beli strings nih...awal tahun kot...eh...ke lewat tahun lepas...tak ingat sangat dah...aku beli masa ada promotion twin packs...meaning dlm satu kotak tu ada 2 set la. selesai tukor tali...gi tuning dan testing...~peh lemak berkrim sound tali baru tu.

lepas tu...aku plak gi mandi...bersiap. dhan patut amik aku...tapi aku kuar jap gi ATM...cucok duit sat...mujur ler aku gi cucok duit nih...sebab nyer...?? haaa...sat gi akan ku citerkan. balik dari cucok duit...aku tgk dhan dah sampai kat umah aku...tgh borak ngan bapak aku...ntah ape la diborakkan....aku malas nak amik pot. lepas punggah barang lebih kurang...kitorang gi amik lan...terus shoot ke cheras...

sampai sana...kira awal gak la..kot..eheheh...sampai2...kitorang diberitahu oleh the organizer...bahawa kena register celcom...kalo dah ada...kena beli top up rm10. at that time...kitorang mmg bebetul terkujat ah...bcoz we were never told about that. plus, lan ngan dhan memasing duit amat sket. haaa...masa ni la...aku kata...mujur la aku gi cucok duit...tapi tu ah...aku gi cucok pun...bukan nyer banyak...tapi seb baik la..lepas la nak beli top up rm10 tu. here i want to express sedikit rasa tak syok lah...sbb kitorang tak diberitahu...but ok la...it's just a minor set back. we're all only humans rite...?

lepas lepak jap kat luar...kitorang angkat barang masuk studio...for me personally...lama siot tak main gig dalam studio...eheheh...tapi studio yang ni ok la...very spacious...kalo nak dibandingkan dgn apa yang aku penah lalui...huish...masa tu rasa nak pitam pun ada...seb baik la masa tu aku main drum,...so...space untuk drummer mmg ada...eheheheh.

through out the gig...the bands...the crowd...everyone...was very supportive. kitorang mmg perform habis-habisan ah...ahahah...sampai tahap kepala masuk lipas lah...bak kata officer aku kat tmpt keje...huhuhu...mmg SYOK ah...band2 yang perform pun gempak2 belaka...polaris...the rocketts...better than her...dan memacam lagi ah...aku tak ingat sangat dah. tapi ada this one band...aku tak penah dgr music depa...tapi nama selalu disebut oleh jiher...band ni...apa yang aku bleh kata...mmg gempak...~! name diorang EVIDENCE SPEAKS...layan dowh lagu depa.

tapi...setakat band itu je la yang kitorang bleh stay. dah kena balik la plak. thanx again Jiher...fellow organizers...bands...friends...supporters. it was a fun evening...really full of energy...sehabis bingit gak ah...eheheh...the best way to end the weekend...~ =D

M.I.S.S.

2009-11-20T09:19:00.000-08:00

missing someone...
but she's so faraway...
how i wish that i could...
teleport myself to be by her side...

missing someone...
her clear sparkling eyes...
soothing smile...
porcelain skin...

missing someone...
but that's the only thing i can do...
because i can never tell...
because i know she can never accept...

missing someone...
and it'll go on & on...
as i hope for the day...
that'll never come...

Gian Yang Telah Dilepaskan

2009-11-20T08:48:00.000-08:00

Ape plak aku nak citer ari ni eh...? hurmmm...takde benda menarik la plak jadik ari nih. seharian...mmg takdok. kecuali jap tadi la...sesi melepas gian. lek lek...jgn la pk aku gi lepas isap dadah ke apa. aku gi JAMMING.

terasa cam dah lama tak jamming...ada la kot...2 minggu. for some..."alahai...baru 2 minggu tak jamming...dah kecoh...~". tapi mmg betul ah...kalo 2 minggu tu rasa lama. even tadi jamming pun...mmg dah terasa dah a bit rusty. tapi, mmg enjoy jamm. it's a way to release stress.

lagipun this jamm session is a preparation untuk gig ahad nih...sumwhere in cheras...i can't quite recall kat mana...nnt kalo dah gi...aku update la lagi...eheheh.

Dari Kunci Ke Tukang Masak

2009-11-19T07:26:00.000-08:00

Apa nak citer eh...? Smlm hari yang agak tak best bagi aku. pagi...gi keje...aku gi keje MOST of the times...mmg naik moto lah...senang...minyak save...boleh lepasi jamm dgn mudah...cuma perit nyer bila ujan lah...kalo masa nak gi keje...bleh dijadikan alasan untuk masuk lambat...tapi kalo time balik...kena la buat pilihan...samada nak redah...ataupun nak tunggu reda. tapi selalunyer aku redahkan jer.

aku sampai opis dalam kol...8.30pg camtu...aku bawak bekal ari tu...so...aku bukak compartment bawah seat tu...bawak kuar bekal...letak helmet kat dalam...dlm dok pegang dua tiga benda tu...tanpa ku sedar...kunci moto aku dah terjatuh dalam compartment tu...aku plak pastu...dgn penuh yakin..aku tutup la compartment tu. lepas tutup tu la baru aku tersedor...ah sudah...mana plak peginyer kunci moto aku...??

pagi tu jugak aku terpaksa cuba bukak compartment tu...tapi ape kan daya...aku tak penah ada pengalaman curi moto...so...mmg tak dapek ah. aku wat keje ari tu dalam keadaan agak tensen la...tapi mujur le masa time nak balik...brader security guard tu bagi idea camno nak buat...dgn pertolongan dhan, brader security tu...dan juge brader tukang kasut depan tmpt keje aku...kitorang berjaye la mengopak dgn cermat compartment tu...dah dapat kunci tu...baiki balik la compartment tu...

so...ok la...aku berjaya dapatkan kunci tu...tanpa perlu melakukan damage yang teruk...aku panaskan enjin...rilek jap...terus gerak ke rumah...masa tu...ujan...tapi seb baik la tak lebat sangat.

oh yer...mlm tu aku kena jumpa member sorang kat UK perdana...aku gi sana ngan dhan...so cadangnyer nak guna kete aku. dah lepaih mandi...bersiap sumer...aku pun gi la nak panaskan enjin kete...3 ari dah tak start. kete aku ni mmg ada problem nak start sebenarnyer...tapi yang siot nyer...malam tu...mmg takmo start sampai sudah...aduuuu...sakit jiwa aku...cuba punye cuba...tak bleh gak...last2...aku gi masuk umah...jumpa ayah aku...mintak pinjam kete dia.

dpt pinjam kete...aku terus amik dhan...straight away gi UK perdana...sampai sana dalam kol 10 lebey sket...lepak situ jap. member aku ni ada kemukakan cadangan yang ada bagus...tapi tu still kitorang (exorage) kena pertimbangkan lagi. ada kucing baru kat studio member aku yang aku gi jumpa tu...anak kucing...tiga ekor...comel yang amat...rasa nak kidnap jer bawak balik umah...tapi...tak elok la kan.

kol 12 lebey...mata masing2 dah tak leh tahan dah...so...pulang ke bangi. aku sampai umah dalam area 1 lebey...masuk umah...ingatkan nak terus naik ke bilik...tapi...tetiba terasa nak tgk tv...alamak...iron chef la tgh on...demmit...tgk la kejap...sedar x sedar...show tu yang tgk aku...~

Exorage @ Melaka

2009-11-16T07:58:00.000-08:00

Last Saturday...kitorang (Exorage) buat show di Melaka Mall...di...ermm...well...melaka la obviously. bertolak dalam kol 9.30pm hari jumaat. perjalanan sumer ok...takde malapetaka yang terjadi(Alhamdulillah...). Sampai umah parents dhan dalam kol...ermm...sebelas lebih kot...terus melepak kat umah tu...mlm tu aku ada masalah nak tido...biasa la...tmpt yang tak biasa...aku terlelap kol baper pun tak pasti....tido pun tak lena...kejap2 terjaga...dalam kol 7pg - 8pg camtu...aku dah terjaga...tak tido dah...aku lepak luar kat kete sambil conteng sketchbook & isap rokok...

dalam sejam lebih pastu...farah ngan diana plak bangun...pastu...yang lan...dhan...hatta. parents dhan pun bangun gak dah. diana masak nasik goreng. sedap...(aku pasti bukan sebab aku kebulor)...mmg sedap...aku sampai 3 kali round...untung ko lan.

dlm kol 12.30pm...masing2 bersiap...sampai melaka mall dalam kol 1pm lebih sket...punggah barang sumer...set barang2 onstage...krew TM mmg memberi kerjasama yang patut dipuji...tima kaseh sumer krew TM. by 2 sumthing...kitorang start. huhuhu...dah nama nyer main kat mall...so...crowd takde yang stay...kejap ada...kejap takde...tapi nak wat camner...bak kata kawan ku sorang...lek sudey...terasa cam jamming jer...beza nyer...selalu jamm kat studio...ni jamm kat dalam mall. tapi...walopun begitu...aku amat berpuas ati ngan sound pada ari tu...syok syok...~!

dah abis show...kitorang lepak2...carik makanan...eheheh... pastu merayau2 sekitar bandor melaka...pastu naik menara taming sari...huhhu...agak tinggi gak...best...masa kat atas tu...terasa nak terjun jer...dah abih rayau...kitorang gi mkn malam plak...mkn kat...aisey...nama kedai aku dah lupa dah...tapi menarik la makanan2 nyer...tapi bagi aku...yang paling syok...ABC Revolusi...HOH...~! mmg layan...~! Heh...by the time makanan abis...sumer dah lemau dah...balik umah...mandi...rilek jap...terus tido...

bangun pagi...lambat...breakfast makan cekodok...ngan jem stoberi...err...aku rase la jem stoberi...rilek2 di pagi ahad...tgk tv...kol 12lebey start packing nak balik. dah bersalam dan mengucapkan terima kasih...kitorang pun bertolak la dari umah dhan. tapi sebelum pulang...kitorang gi balik bandar melaka...round2 last kopek sebelum balik. amik2 gambar lebih kurang...beli barang2 sket...dan terus pulang...masa tu kol 6lebih kot.

masa balik la berlaku nyer perkara yang mmg aku amaaaat menyampah. JAMM...~!!! ShitFuck...~!!!...hiway jamm mmg mampu membuatkan seseorang tu naik mereng...jauh gile jamm nyer...kalo moving traffic tu takpe lagi...ada sampai tahap tak bergerak pun ada...mmg sial. tapi puncanyer yang lagi sial tu...adalah, kete accident di lane SEBELAH...~!!! lane sebelah....patut takde kena mengena ngan lane yang aku lalu tu...tapi nak jamm jugak...mmg cilaka...huhuhu. sampai kat bangi...kitorang gi mkn jap kat 15...akhirnyer...memasing pulang ler ke rumah memasing...tapi hatta tak la...dia kena ikut aku balik umah...nak amik kete dia yang dia parking kat umah aku.

masuk umah...jumpa parents aku...salam diorang...tapi tak dapat dok berciter ngan diorang lama...sbb aku dah mmg tak larat...naik bilik...mandi...baring2...terlelap....ZZzzzzz

Kejap Lagi

2009-11-13T03:14:00.000-08:00

Jumaat - TigaBelas Sebelas TuZiroZiroNain - Dikejutkan oleh ketukan pintu oleh bapak aku. Demmit...tak puas tido lagi...huhuhu...~ tapi apekan daya...aku dah janji nak settlekan kerja kerahan tenaga yang tertunda smlm. gulung karpet...angkat furniture...angkat karpet lagi...dan memacam lagi. then parents aku gi umah mak ngah aku kat gombak. aku tak tau nak buat apa dah. tetiba aku teringat ada orang pesan beli barang...aku pun gi la mencari kedai tu.

pastu lagi sekali aku tak tau nak buat apa...aku tuju studio member aku...lepak sana...heh...ramai plak kat studio dia ari nih...aku lepak situ dah terasa cam jadi staff kt situ plak. hurmmm...mlm ni gerak gi melaka...sok ada show kat melaka mall...kena balik pack barang nih...

Yang Beri Yang Terima

2009-11-12T09:27:00.000-08:00

Khamis - Doblas Sebelas TuZiroZiroNain - bangun kol 10 lebey...tu pun sbb mak aku dah jerit soh tolong dia wat keje. Ari ni mak aku wat Usrah kat umah...so...tenaga aku dikerah untuk angkat kerusi meja...gi beli barang...tolong masak2 lebih kurang. aku buat kerja dgn keadaan badan yang sakit2...kes tercekik tulang punyer pasal...sbb aku dok paksa muntah...penyudahnyer...satu badan sudah sengal. serious...nak gelak pun sakit.

abis dalam area kol 6 lebey...aku mmg dah tak larat masa tu...terus naik bilik. ingat nak santai dalam bilik...sambil main game. tapi...aku terlelap. tersedar kol 9mlm...tu pun sbb tepon berbunyi...shitfuck...~!! aku ada jamming...~!!! siot giler...seb baik tak lajak melampau2...

masa jamming...walopun diri ni agak lemau...tapi digagahkan jugak...lepas jamming...cam biasa...sesi lepak2 minum2. masa lepak tu...member aku sorang ni bukak citer pasal sorang lagi mamat ni sudah buat onar...aku dgr citer pun dah hangin dah...kalo jadik kt aku sendiri, aku tak tau la apa jadi. dlm dunia nih mmg ada species gitu...jenis yang tak reti nak appreciate...juga tak sedor diri. masa ko takde...ko meminta...ko mengemis...tapi bila ko dah well off...ko tak appreciate orang yang memberi pada ko. bukan saje tak appreciate...siap ko mengata plak orang yang memberi tu.

udah2 la wey...ubah la perangai tu. maybe wat masa ni ko bernasib baik...yang memberi tu bukan jenis melenting...bukan jenis nak panggil geng bantai ko. jadi...sebelum rupa paras ko diubah menggunakan buku lima ke...batang besi ke...baseball bat ke...ataupun senjata2 yang lebih menyakitkan...ubah le perangai.

- tangan yang memberi tu lebih baik daripada yang menerima...tapi jgn la yang diberi tu penyakit...~

Cekik

2009-11-11T08:35:00.000-08:00

Ari ni aku tak gi keje...aku gi klinik...tapi, bukan la sbb nak beli MC. aku gi sana sbb...sejam sebelum...aku mkn tengahari ngan parents aku...mak aku masak keli masak lemak cili merah yang kecik...sbb bapak aku tak beli cili padi. so...keli mmg antara ikan fav aku. so...aku pun makan ler...tetiba tekak aku rasa lain macam...ada benda sudah sangkut...tulang ikan...demmit...~!! why la...~!! aku try muntahkan balik...isk...serious sakit siot paksa muntah nih...kenapa la orang bulimic ni sanggup sakit...huhuhu. try punye try...tak dapat gak kuar kan...aku sudah jadi risau...mak aku soh aku gi klinik...

masa jumpa dokter...dokter kata...rasa sangkut tu kat mana...aku tunjuk la...dia kata...alamak...dah dalam sangat tuh...tak dapek ah nak nolong. dia soh aku gi specialist ENT...isk...kalo aku gi specialist...mampus la kena bayor mahal. dokter tu, seakan mengerti keadaan aku...so dia kata...takpun...kalo sanggup...tunggu la sampai sok...sbb tulang tu akan hancur sendiri...amik masa sket ah...banyak kan minum air. hurmmm...dah diberi pilihan camtu...aku gagahkan je la...

lps gi klinik...aku menyimpang gi cc...online jap...tetiba dpt call dari dhan...

"ko ptg ni free x??"
"free kot...dlm kol baper...?"
"kol 6 camtu..."
"ada apa hal...?"
"aku nak open table ari nih..."
"ko biar kebenaran...kat ne open table...?"
"kt sebelah ni hah...paparich..."
"peh...ok ok...nnt aku datang..."
"ok...ko dtg bawak kete tau..."
"hah..? ermm...ok ok..."

isk...biar betul dak nih...open table kat PapaRich...?? isk...tmpt tu mahal siot...takkan dia nak open table. tp takpe...aku balik umah jap...tolong mak aku kemas umah...dlm kol 5.45 gitu aku kuar balik...

sampai kt tmpt keje...tgk dhan ngan officer aku dah tunggu dpn ofis...ah sudah...ni apa hal lak nih...lepas tunggu staff2 lain...kitorang bergerak menuju PapaRich yang terletak bersebelahan ofis. dah masuk dalam tu...baru la aku paham...mmg ada orang open table pun...tapi bukan la dhan...eheheheh. huish la...aku dah ler mmg tak penah mkn kat situ...tetiba ada plak orang nak open table...apa lagi...mintak yang paling mahal laa...makanan paling mahal...minuman pun paling mahal....tapi malang sekali...harap mahal je lebih...rasa tak ke mana...huhuhu...

lama dah aku rapuan aku nih...nak gi minum ah sat...

dan tulang itu masih ada...~

Rentung...Tak...

2009-11-10T01:22:00.000-08:00

lagi satu hari yang aku tak tau nak buat apa. bangun kol 1.35ptg...tu pun sbb mak aku bising...kalo tak...tak tau la kol baper aku bangun. lepas mandi...turun bawah...gi dapur...mak aku soh goreng ikan...ahahaha. meletup2 siot...abih tangan kena minyak panas...pedih ah...takde la plak melecur. orait gak aku goreng ikan...tak rentung...walopun sesambil goreng tu aku tgk tv...seb baik la tak leka...heh.

lepas mkn...lepak jap...ujan turun dgn lebat nyer. tapi masa ujan lebat tu la aku kuar umah...drive...ntoh ler...cam serunok plak drive tetengah ujan lebat...tapi aku tak speeding ah...giler ko...tak pepasal je blog ni tak tertulis. kali ni...aku merayau sampai ke mines...dok survey beberapa barang...dan juga nak check barang yang aku hantar repair dari minggu lepas...sampai la ke ari ni...tak siap siap jugak...adu laa...nak hanginkan jer...tapi malas (hebat betul tahap kemalasan aku). aku dok survey laptops...ape la laptop yang elok eh?? dan yang tak berapa mahal...ehehehe...

dah abih pusing mines tu lebih kurang...aku pun gerak balik bangi...gi cc kat 15...tulis blog nih...eheheh...gi minum jap ah pasnih...

Tiada Arah

2009-11-09T04:36:00.000-08:00

mlm sebelum...main game sampai kol 4.45pg...tersedar...kol 10.15pg...masih mengantuk...sambung tido...bangun kol 2ptg...basuh muka...gosok gigi...turun gi dapur...bukak fridge...ada nasik campur...wuuu...ikan keli...menarik...panaskan...melantak...naik bilik. sambung main game sket...gi mandi...bersiap...gi celcom...bill dah terbayar...merayau naik kete...sampai ke tmn equine.

isk...serious takde arah tuju...camtu ler...bila dah cuti...pastu takde plan. sunggoh bosan. tapi masa keje...pale otak pikir nk cuti jer. lumrah manusia...tak penah puas ngan apa yang ada kot...eheheh.

dari tmn equine tu...trus balik umah...mandi...kena ujan tadi...takmo la demam plak nnt. turun gi ruang tamu...tgk tv...layan nabil fikirlah sendiri...then kuar balik...gi lepak studio avicenna...kat sini le aku type blog nih...eheheh...

mlm ada mkn2...nak gerak ah nih...

Keranjang

2009-11-09T02:35:00.000-08:00

ahad - 8hb Sebelas tuzirozironain - 6.25ptg. awal sket daripada waktu yang tertera...recieved an sms dari sorang member nih...lama dah aku kawan ngan dia...tapi, sejak dia kawen...mmg jarang sangat ah lepak. dia ajak buat aktiviti yang mmg amat lama kitorang tak buat...hah...hah..~! sapo yang baca ni jangan la dok pikir yang bukan2...aktiviti yang aku maksudkan tu adalah...jeng jeng jeng...~!!! (dramatik la konon)...main BASKETBALL...~!!

Serious shit...masa zaman skolah...itu je la sukan berpasukan yang aku reti main...aku tak minat main bola sepak. tapi tu ah...zaman skolah...la ni...last sekali main...ada la...dlm...2-3 tahun lepas. heh...shooting...toksah citer la...merapu pegi nyer...10 shoot...yang masuk 2...tu pun belum tentu. dribbling habih bersepah. dan yang paling siot nyer...main tak sampai 10minit...dah tercungap...~!!! Aahahahah...~!

Tu lah dia...dah berenti main dkt 2-3 tahun...sekali main balik...dah mengah. Hurmm...tapi terasa cam nak jadikan aktiviti mingguan la plak...(nak jadikan aktiviti harian...? sumpah tak larat kot...). tgk la camne...heh

Ah Sudah...Takde La Plak...!!!

2009-11-08T09:15:00.000-08:00

sabtu - 7hb Sebelas tuzirozironain...main gig ngan ShockSystem...huiii...ShockSystem siooott...~!!! dah baper lama tak perform ngan band nih. Main acoustic plak tu. mmg sesuatu yang amat jarang ah. so...aku gerak ngan dhan, lan ngan hatta. hal sebenaryer...sorang pun tak tau exactly kat mana venue gig tu. tmpt nyer...solaris mont kiara...afterhour cafe.

tapi....carik punyer carik...sampai la area mont kiara. baru area jer...tak sampai lagi exact location. so...bila dah sampai kat situ...dok tanye2 le orang sekeliling. akhirnyer sampai ler. terus cari afterhour cafe nih. tiba jer kat situ...aku tgk crew2 & organizer tgh setup barang. kt situ ada drumset...TAPI...set yang tak cukop sifat. TIADA CYMBAL & HI-HAT. tanya2 band2 lain...sumer tak guna set tu...hanya ShockSystem je yang guna set tu...huhuhu. aku sungguh kecewa...terasa dikhianati pun ade...(tapi tu aku over2kan sket jer). so...nak x nak...aku gagahkan diri main drumset tanpa cymbal itu. seb baik ler...rosewood...dtg bawak shaker. so...aku main...tangan kiri pegang stick...ketuk snare...tangan kanan pegang shaker. huhuhu...agak challenging gak ah. tapi...nak wat camner. tapi mood lagu ada sedikit lain ah...plus...ada kekantoian gak ler...ahahah.

main baper lagu eh...5 kot...main lagu dari zaman band skolah menengah kitorang "stay with me", "hate", "loser's love song", lagu ShockSystem "angels fall", and last skali cover KRU - "mengerti". orait gak ah...fun...walopun dgn kantoi2 bagai...ahahahah...really enjoyed ourselves...terima kasih kepada kawan2 yang telah hadir dan memberi support...

- note to self : bawak je cymbal sendiri len kali

Foul Start

2009-11-05T09:15:00.000-08:00

Hari ni aku start hari aku dgn...mood yang agak tak elok. sbb nyer..?? ntah ler...aku cam emosi semcm...mcm PMS la plak...heh. sampai tmpt keje pun...aku tak bercakap ngan ofismate...kesian depa sumer...tak pepasal jer.

pagi tadi...memcm perasaan ada...tapi sumer nyer negatif...marah...bengang...kecewa...sedih...etc2. apa yang menjadikan aku camtu...secara tepat nyer...aku tak reti nak citer...tapi...kalo nak dimudahkan...senang cakap...aku banyak sangat pikir...dan aku bukan banyak pikir pasal diri aku...aku dok pikir pasal orang lain...orang2 lain yang belum tentu pikir pasal aku. jadi bila aku dah serabutkan pale otak sendiri ngan bebenda gitu...aku jadi emosi sorang2. shits...tak sehat sebenarnyer habit tu. jgn le diamalkan.

tapi nak wat camne...benda tu jadi gak...tapi seb baik gak la bukan tetiap ari...

pas keje...ada plak meeting...aduu...cukup tak ske aku meeting lepaih keje ni...mana tak nye...awk pale otak dok pikir nak balik jer...alih2 kena gak stay. tapi ok la...meeting kali ni...membawa berita baik untuk branch tmpt aku keje.

malam...jamming acoustic ngan shocksystem...aku sangat suka...sehari mood aku tak baper baik...bila tiba masa jamming...wuuu...hilang ah segala serabut minda...mmg betul le orang kata...music heals ur soul...or sumthin like that...heh

SaLah

2009-11-04T09:01:00.000-08:00

salah ke tanya khabar...?
salah ke nak berborak...?
salah ke nak berkawan...?
salah ke mengambil berat...?
salah ke berterus terang...?
salah ke menjalinkan hubungan...?
salah ke rasa sayang...?
salah ke rasa cinta...?
salah ke rasa ingin dicintai...?
salah ke ada perasaan...?
salah ke rasa bersalah...?
salah ke meminta kemaafan...?
salah ke ingin memulakan kembali...?
salah ke dilahirkan begini...?
salah ke aku adalah aku...?

SALAH KE....HAH..??!!!

Tak Tau La Rasa Apa

2009-11-04T08:25:00.000-08:00

ape nak citer nih...?~ kalo nak diikutkan...rasa nyer mmg banyak benda yang boleh diciter. takpe ah....aku citer apa yang aku tgh rasa sekarang. sekarang ni...aku rasa...mcm aku ni...ah...shit lah...aku pun tak tau nak terang kan camner. terasa lonely ada...terasa bengang ada...jeles ada...iri ati ada...terasa nak terajang orang ada...terasa dipergunakan pun ada...

kita bagi juadah manisan...dibalas plak ngan taik...
kita bagi air yang menyegarkan...dibalas plak ngan air kencing...

haaih...~ biar ah...

Nama

2009-11-04T01:33:00.000-08:00

ari ni keje...cam biasa...takde kelainan apa pun...hingga lah datang sorang customer ni....dia foreigner...orang sudan aku rasa...ofismate aku yang attend...minah tu muka tersipu2 dan juge muka menahan gelak...nama mamat tu...Koate Kpegara Godfrey...

"how much you want to send Mr Koate?"
"u want that amount inclusive the charges Mr Koate?"
"here's you're receipt Mr Koate.."
"Thank you...Please COME again Mr Koate..."

=D

Exorage Di Pasir Gudang

2009-11-04T00:56:00.000-08:00

haiih...~ what a week last week. seriously...letih gile...dgn keje...ngan band praktis. last sunday perform kt pasir gudang, johor. 1st time sampai pasir gudang. hari nak gerak gi pasir gudang...kitorang(exorage) kena siap kan recording satu lagu...penyudahnyer...gerak johor kol 12tghmlm...sampai kol 5pg...crash over umah nenek diana...dapat la tido 2 - 3 jam...

masa memula dapat news kena perform kat sana...telah membayangkan...shopping komplex yang mcm...midvalley ke...mines ke...paling bodo pun...cam...jusco ke. tapi adu laa....huhuhu...sedikit hampa la.

tapi overall...it's a fun experience....walopun letih yang amat...huhuhu. crowd walopun agak slow sket...tapi ok la...supportive gak ah. dapat gak ler berkenal ngan 2 bikers(flatland) yang hebat mat dagu ngan zul

dah abih show tu...gi merayau+makan2+lepak2 kt danga bay...huhuhu...1st time gak jejak kaki kt situ...syiok gak ah. dah abih rayau...perut pun dah kenyang...badan amat letih...dlm kol 9.30mlm gitu....gerak balik bangi...berenti jap kat R&R machap...mandi...then meneruskan perjalanan...sampai umah kol 1 lebih...mmg tak citer panjang dah...terus tidooooooo....~!

Reject Sampai Lali

2009-10-30T03:04:00.000-07:00

Aaahhh~....hari last keje...huhuhu...giler serunok siot...~! last few days...sumthing happened to a friend of mine. THis dude got rejected...yeah...that's it people...REJECTED. but don't get me wrong...it's not like i'm gonna tell u guys everything that he whines about...eheheh. aku just....nak bercerita sket...pasal reject2 nih...

as for me...aku...mmg sangat takut rejections. serious...agak painful la kena reject nih...dan throughout my life...aku dah tak larat nak kira baper kali kena reject...(loser siot aku). lepaih kena reject tu...aku...sedih laa....kecewa....ati picah...~ tensen menggiler...mula la kononnyer nak isap rokok dua tiga batang sekali jalan...nak carik beer ke...wiski ke...nak amik dadah laa....nak kelar tangan sendiri la...memacam lagi lah...yang leh menyumbang pada kemusnahan diri sendiri( ye ye...sebelum korang cakap...aku akan cakap sendiri.."bodo la aku...!")...ye lah...kira dah sehabis emo la tu konon.

member aku pun dok cakap, dia penah rasa benda lebey kurang gitu, tapi dia kata...ari tu...ntah...cam...rilek jer...ada gak la...a bit of a sting kat ati nih. ye lah...ati mmg dah syg kt someone tu...sekali telah direject plak...but surprisingly...less painful.

kenapa...? ntah ah...mungkin sbb dah dapat jangka kot....akan direject...tapi daripada buat andaian...baik tanya je straight...skali alih2...mmg ye kena reject...heheheh. tak pun mmg dah selalu sangat kena reject...sampai dah lali...eheheh.

Ones that forget

2009-10-28T04:11:00.000-07:00

i have a few, but i feel alone,
i have one, but i feel none,
i can be in a crowded room,
but i feel like i’m in an empty room without windows,
i can try, not that i can’t
just don’t want to,
i feel it’s a waste,
but somehow, someone with someone else,
here i am left alone,
there are times, i tried to reach out
i got the hold, but had to let go,
don’t want to, but was insisted,
i put it down, i put it in,
waited, usually fell through, till the break of dawn,
no use saying it out loud,
when nobody’s listening,
no use whispering,
no one can hear you,
seriously, what is it to be loved?
cared, loved, existed, noticed,
want to be a newborn,
or maybe brainwashed,
so one can’t remember,
the ones that forget…

buts & maybes

2009-10-28T04:09:00.000-07:00

this life, mine, yours, ours,
more or less the same,
and yet, so different,
maybe you can face it,
but i don’t think i can,
maybe you can get use to it,
or you’ve already used to it,
now that i may not know how to use it,
maybe they say it’s nothing,
but i say, it’s not just a ‘THING’,
maybe they say it’s impossible,
but i can’t say impossible is nothing,
maybe we can say, i may be wrong,
but i say, maybe it’s just me,
maybe we can say all this is crap,
but i say, it’s just a bunch of bull….

ashes

2009-10-28T04:07:00.000-07:00

wondering myself
as i look at the world
the way i look it thru my eyes
may never be the same
like everybody else’s

as time goes by
be old, be wise
be bold, be nice
and in time one can find,
happiness after all the sadness

in this life
we can achieve greatness
our efforts and our hopes
so we believe, for each of us
we will have our chances

where do we belong?
do we belong anywhere?
anyway…foretold the lies that
may be the truth

what is like to be
the one to see it
all crumble down to ashes…

Watcher

2009-10-28T04:02:00.000-07:00

as i watch the changing weather
from the window of my cell
may be clear outside
but inside me it’s raining blood

just what is there to do
with someone and there is only me
to hold there’s nobody
to embrace there’s no one

the heart is void
is it not? will it be?
half empty it may be
half full? not likely

the weather’s changing
here comes the rain
as if nature’s wept with me
she felt the melancholy

once reality escapes me
the fantasy grabs a hold of me
the nightmares choking me
now life itself comforts me

The Waves

2009-10-27T04:15:00.000-07:00

to be in front of you
although i’m somewhat behind the line
it’s a bliss i never want to miss
it’s the energy that i can never resist

with your hands lifted in the air
the waves of you, welcomes me
appreciate the support
so i thank you

with you say it with me
knowing every word i say
screaming at the top of ur lungs
understand every word we say

i want to be there again
it’s the only time i feel so alive
the one feeling that can never be replaced
day by day i longing for the embrace

The Decision

2009-10-27T04:11:00.000-07:00

the rain is pouring down
as she lay alone on her bed
thinking what would happen
to all the things in her head

she can’t decide on
what to do or what to wear
as she take a look in the closet
she can never choose, she can’t compare

and old sweater’s hanging there
gives her warmth and comfort
on the otherside, there’s the new evening dress
makes her feel beautiful and elegent

but there’s always another option
it’s always her choice, her decision
just throw away the dress, and go burn the sweater
just go out and find a new attire

A Story Of A Man

2009-10-27T04:05:00.000-07:00

there’s a story of a man,
when long ago he’s head over heels,
over a girl, so beautiful, alluring,
a face of an angel and stars for eyes,

nothing except her, in his mind,
nothing but her, in his heart,
nothing he wouldn’t do for her,
he would give his all just for her,

but she never knew, as he just wouldn’t dare,
to tell her what she means to him,
to tell her how much he adores her,
to tell her his heart skips everytime near her,

to tell her, more than life itself, he loves her,
that was years ago,when they used to be close,
now those days are gone,as if she never knew him before,

he asked himself why,blame himself for didn’t even try,
afraid she can never accept what he’s going to say,
fearing that she can never accept him for saying it,
in time, people change, that’s how the saying goes,

it’s hard for him to accept that fact, let alone,
live on in this life with a scar,
just watch her,
admire her, from afar…

Cherita Lama Yang Gile

2009-10-27T03:42:00.000-07:00

Phew!! what a day...what a day indeed! heh...orait the first half of the day was boring...have to follow my parents to my makcik's house in Seremban...ada kenduri. boring giler...sumer orang tua2....pakcik pakcik...makcik makcik yang datang...takde sorang pun yang dalam lingkungan umor cam aku. so...i ended up reading Modern Drummer...thank god i brought that from home.
Arrived home a few hours after that...then my bro asked me to call him...

what la you...u're a freakin' lecturer...don't even have money to buy credit kah? ehehe...but i called him anyway...tetiba..

"eh...u nak gi alexis kol berapa??"
"hah?? alexis?? apa ni??"
"lah...arep tak sms u ker?"
"takde rasa nye..."
"dia kan perform untuk Singer/Songwriters Rounds...kat Alexis"
"oh ye ke? Alexis tu kat mana?"
"Kt jalan ampang tu...dalam great eastern mall..."
"ooo...that place ah?? ok ok...u smpi kol baper?"
"maybe around 8 to 9 kot..."
"ok...meet u there lah"

i was like...oh man...camne leh terlupa lak...seb baik tak lepak kat umah makcik tu lelama. so like...suddenly terasa malas nak gi sesorang lak...huhuhu...kalo sueci ada...mmg dah lama gi ngan dia...so...i called my cousin...asked if he want to go or not...dia kata orait...so around 6 camtu...kitorang gerak...sampai agak awal...so...gi lepak minum kat Lotus. lepas pekena teh tarik ngan mee goreng...masa tu pulak maghrib dah masuk...so...aku ajak la dia solat (aku tau ramai orang mcm tak caya). kitorang solat kat surau bangunan tabung haji. lepas abih solat...sepupu aku kata plak...

"weh, ko ada nampak kasut aku tak?? hilang ah".

ah sudah...kasut kena kebas la plak...Alhamdulillah kasut aku tak kena...kasut buruk benor kot. so...nak tak nak...kena beli kasut baru...terbang gak la 79 ringgit.
sampai great eastern mall kol 8 lebih...demmit...it's still early...so...lepak2 sat...lama gak la...coz the show starts at 10.30. tonite, all the performers - Shanon Shah - Eugene Ng - Ariff Akhir - Izzy Mohamed...were fantastic!! all of 'em played about...5-6 songs each. then...

"weh...lepas ni ada open mic session...aie(that's me), ko nak main?"
"hoish...tak nak ah...!"
"ala selambe aaa!, jap aku cari pete teoh(the organizer)...aku masukkan nama ko"
"woi arep...ko jangan buat gile!!"
"takpe...biar aku yang cari" suara abg aku pulak mencelah...

and he just left....demmit...i didn't expect this at all...shit man...i'm not fucking ready. my heart was pounding like crazy...i'm a nervous wreck. all the other performers for the open mic session were great...and way better than i am on guitars. then...it's my turn...mmg MENGGELABAH GILER...cakap bergetar...tangan menggigil...sweating like mad. masa nak start tu...ada aje yang tak kena...gitar tetiba nak jatuh laa...salah tekan chords...ahahahaha....sampai tiga kali la start semula lagu...but then...thank god...i managed to pulled it of...thanx to my bro...ariff...kak aida...my cousin...ariff's lil' sister...pete teoh and all of the sporting audience's support.
it was fun...it was great...it was tiring...what a day my friends...till then...stixx fixxing out!!

- 16th July 05...ahahahah...citer ni aku post kt blog lama aku. aku ske post ni...sbb tu aku amik post balik kt blog baru nih...ye lah...baru lagi...tak banyak nak story... =P

Rasi - Emosi

2009-10-27T03:29:00.000-07:00

Love...heh...do u love being in love? well...who doesn't? aku rasa...sumer orang suka bercinta...ada ke orang tak suka bercinta?? pada siapa yang rasa love life dia tak best...mesti la kata tak suka. tapi macam mana dia tau love life dia tak best? dia tau...sebab dia bercinta juga asalnya. and along the way...their love story turned sour...salah faham...takleh tolak ansur...kepercayaan kurang...atau pun...takde langsung...dan akhirnya, putus.

hakikat nya sumer suka bercinta. dan bila bercinta tu...kita takleh elak daripada menghadapi konflik. when two lives trying to live as one...there will be conflicts in any relationship. it's all about how u handle it. rationally or emotionally...u choose.

Pernah break?? ditinggalkan?? meninggalkan??...pada yang pernah bercinta, aku jamin...sejumlah besar mengatakan YA. sbb dan alasan perpisahan itu berlaku...sendiri fikir la. boleh terima ke perpisahan tu?? ada yang boleh...ada yang tak boleh. ada yang redha...ada yang paksa diri terima hakikat. and like i said earlier...rationally or emotionally...again, u choose.

"But it's not easy...", "U don't understand!" , "What do you know?", these are the questions i always get, when these so called "victims of love" ask me for advice. Yes people, i know it's not easy...but it can never be any easier if u quit trying...would it? Yes...i can never understand why...one cannot make a move on from this situation...? let alone living in anger, melancholy, sadness and self-seclusion?? for all u know... the "used-to-be" other half is happy with his/her "i'm-single-again" life...OR new guy/girl?? and Yes...maybe i don't know anything, BUT...i do know one thing...everything in life can never be fair...love is unfair...remember...rationally or emotionally...u choose.

Wanita...perempuan...gadis...?

2009-10-27T03:21:00.000-07:00

Layanilah dirinya seolah dia melebihi segalanya,
Melebihi impian mu, melampaui mindanya,

Layanilah dirinya, seolah dirinya lebih dari yang kau pinta,
Melebihi harapanmu, melepasi batas imaji mu,

Bicara pada nya semanis mungkin, cintai nya sedalamnya,
Jadilah setulus mungkin, berilah hati mu kerana dia bukan sekadar perempuan,

Dia ibarat bidadari hidupmu, dia yang termanis di dunia mu,
Dia lebih cantik dari ribuan mawar yang mekar,

Wanita, perempuan, gadis...janganlah bersedih,
Kerana dirimu takkan tahu pabila seseorang akan jatuh cinta pada indah senyum mu,

Biarkan dirinya tahu, bahawa dirimu mengambil tahu,
Biarkan dirinya tahu, lakukan sesuatu yang istimewa, pada dirinya yang teristimewa,

Doakan dirinya mimpi-mimpi manis, semanis dirinya,
Doakan dirinya mimpi-mimpi indah, seindah dirinya,

Pabila dia menangis, jadilah yang pertama tempat dia merehatkan mindanya,
Dan menangislah bersama, supaya dirinya tahu bahawa dia tidak keseorangan,

Pabila dia ketawa, jadilah yang pertama mendengarnya,
Pabila dia bersedih, jadilah yang pertama membuatnya kembali ceria,

Dan pabila kau meluahkan rasa cinta terhadap si dia,
Pastikan dia melihat air mata yang tulus mengalir...

- Sesungguhnya wanita ibarat sebuah misteri yang indah -