Hari Ni Sebelum Sahur...

Isnin - TigaPuluhKosongLapanDuaPuluhSepuluh - ahaa...hari ni aku berblog sebelum sahur plak...so...apa citer ari ni...?? takde citer menarik sangat...except...kawan aku sorang ni...dah lama tak berawek...skang sudah ada teman...yeah...~!! way to go man...happy for you. actually...diorang dah couple beberapa minggu lepas(kot...aku pun lupa...ada dia citer...tapi dah lupa)...but then again...they 1st met 2days ago. and yeah...from the looks of it...they're happy together. hopefully the relationship will last.

ok...why am i blogging about this...saje je...well ok la...bukan saje je. sebenornyer...aku, agak iri hati. sedikit la...ye lah...i've been longing to be in a relationship for quite sometime now. but i'm still single. and aku rasa kawan aku yang baru couple nih...faham perasaan aku...so dia dok la cakap..."don't worry dude...ur time will come...". yeah...i know that...in fact...i know that so well...that i'm kinda like sick of it. but don't get me wrong...i'm not turning gay or sumthing.

wait...i'm beginning to be depressed again...this is not good. i have to look at this matter in a positive way. ok...so which angle...? fine...i'll find it soon.

on a positive note...aku tgh cuba nak buat lagu...a friend wrote it down as a poem...but he wants me to compose it into a song. i've been in a slump lately. but...suddenly, i've found this riff...pada aku riff ni mmg best(pada aku la...), and i was so excited...intend to make this riff for the intro part. ok...that part's done. but then...when it comes to the verses and chorus...again...i'm stumped. aiyoooh...~ haaaiiih....lek lek...i guess i can never rush creativity...i have to take it one step at a time...

that's it...~

- stixx, fixxing out...~ -

Sesudah Sahur Lagi...

Ahad - DuaSembilanKosongLapanDuaPuluhSepuluh - eheh...lagi sekali...aku wat blog after sahur...actually aku dah sahur awal dah...tapi aku berjaga sampai abih waktu sahur(nasib baik la sok cuti...kalo ari keje...mmg aku tak wat camni...). okeh...apa plak aku nak merapu pepagi buta nih...?

ok...start with a little bit after midnite...aku terasa amat bosan...aku rasa amat tidak best(macam biasa la...), plus...aku terasa lapar...so...aku gi la mamak kat sect15 bangi...aku gi naik skuter...mmg aku lagi senang gi memana bawak skuter...ye lah...parking tak menjadi masalah...nak2 plak mlm tadi...ada football match...mmg sesak la area 15 tu. tensen gak aku...apa la seronok tgk football match nih...? tapi...kalo dah pasal minat...aku mmg takkan argue la...most people...kalo dah pasal minat...mmg sanggup wat memacam...just like me & music. bleh dikatakan sanggup perabih semata2 sbb music.

so aku melabuhkan diri atas kerusi(nak try atas meja...tapi takut kena humban keluar kedai...) dlm kedai mamak yang selalu aku melepak online sorang2...Ameerali. aku order nasi puteh+paprik daging...& teh ais. sementara tunggu order sampai...aku online lah.

sebelum aku keluar umah...aku ada post status kat FB...asking about where can i get my hands on some antidepressant pills...and surprisingly...ada beberapa rakan2 yang gave comments about that status...tq my friends...but dont worry...it's not that i'm really gonna take it. it's just that...i was kinda down(depressed?)...and only felt like popping a pill. and yeah...they(my friends) were like asking why...and i can only answer to a certain few...

masa online FB...i was talking to a friend via the FB chat(agak menyakitkan ati chatting ngan menatang FB chat nih)...she asked about the status...so i tell her why...and she gave me her feedback about it. she told me she went thru the same thing...well not exactly the same thing...but...more or less i guess...and she did mention about her friends got bored of her constant complains...and they somewhat abandoned her...now...that's harsh...no...i think that's cruel. but then again...you have to admit...your friends...they're humans...and as humans...they themselves have their own problems to think about...so...i guess they can only standby you up to a certain extent.

so...she went on giving me advice and opinions(most appreciated, tq)...masa dok borak tu...tetiba people started to go inside the mamak...i was like..."uh-oh.. "...apa yang aku risaukan...mmg bebetul terjadi...hujan turun...and it's a downpour...mmg lebat gile...mmg aku bertapa lebih lama la kat mamak tu...tapi, mujur la durasi nyer tak lama mana...timing hujan berenti pun ngam2 masa laptop aku nak abis bateri...so i pack my stuff and head home. baru lepas hujan...aku naik skuter tanpa sweater and cargo shorts...freakishly cold...~!!!

reached home @ 3am...and i thought about what she told me...well...she told me a lot...but one thing about changing my attitude...that is something, i should do...i have to start to look at things positively...(being a pessimist...that is not an easy task...). how...? well i guess there's only one way to find out...

my my...this turned out to be a long entry...eheh...

- stixx, fixxing out...~! -

Sesudah Sahur...the 2nd.

Selasa - TujuhBelasLapanDuaPuluhSepuluh - Sahur awal lagi hari ni...like i've mentioned earlier(well, i think i've mentioned it)...bila hari bekerja...aku sahur awal.

tak tau apa nak citer pun...ermm, ok la...sebenarnyer banyak....just tak tau nak citer camne. buat masa ni...mmg aku terasa tak baper best...it's not that i feel sumthing bad gonna happen...cuma...ntah...terasa tak best lah...i mean...i'm not that happy. heh...aku rasa mesti ada yang menyampah bila aku dok kata rasa tak best...rasa tak best. tapi nak buat camne...dah aku rasa gitu.

missing someone...but i just don't know for sure whether that someone misses me or not...i don't think so. damn...feel so empty...hollow. usually at times like this...i always ask myself...is it so hard for someone like me to be loved? i mean...i can love someone whole-heartedly...i'd give my all for someone. but...it feels like...i'm the only one who's giving.

i envy...to all those people who give...and get back what they deserved. unlike me...

ah well...i guess i cut the crap here...

- stixx, fixxing out...! -

Sesudah Sahur...

Isnin - EnamBelasLapanDuaPuluhSepuluh - Ok...hari ni dh masuk hari ke-6 posa. heh...jgn dihitung hari...kalo tak mmg la rasa lama. ada beberapa perkara yang aku suka pasal bulan posa nih. satu...obviously sbb kita menjalan kan ibadah. itu mmg perkara yang paling penting la. other than that...best sbb...mmg bleh jimat duit...ye lah...breakfast ngan lunch tak boleh makan...maka...duit tak kuar lah. and yeah...last sekali...bleh turunkan berat badan...tapi selalunyer masa bulan posa je la turun...masa raya pertama...dah naik balik dah...itu mmg konfirm...eheh. nak wat camner...sah2 masa raya tu...dah gi melawat umah sedara-mara...bila dah sampai tu...mmg akan ada makanan yang terhidang...kang tak makan...kecik ati plak...maka...'terpaksa' lah...eheheh.

adu la...apa la aku merepek pepagi buta nih...heh, mcm title entry aku yang...mmg aku baru lepas sahur...selalu nyer aku sahur kol 5pg...tapi ari ni rasa nak sahur awal sket...sbb ari ni aku keje. aduu...lemau gile sior keje time posa nih...tapi ada best nyer gak...bila keje ni...rasa cepat je masa berlalu...tapi itu pun kekadang tgk keadaan ler...

haih...sudah lah...tido time...

- stixx, fixxing out..!-

It's Been Quite Awhile

Isnin - SembilanLapanDuaPuluhSepuluh - Uih...~ lama sangat aku tak update blog aku nih...the last published blog was 12th Feb 2010. but yeah...even if i update my blog frequently...i don't think there's anyone gonna read it.

so...why do i blog...? no specific reason actually...well, ok...maybe there's a few reasons...usually just to kill time...and maybe just to vent out some suppressed feelings or thoughts. there are things...that, in a way...i can never explain or describe by talking...so...i write it down...or type it out. and doesn't have to be for someone...or anyone for that matter...i just need a place to vent it out.

ok...again...it's been awhile...so like...there's lots of things happened...good, bad...quite a lot...but i don't remember all of it in detail though. let's start with the not so good things...my dad got admitted...erm...like i said...can't remember the details...so...i can't remember when...but it was last month (july2010)...because of hypoglycemia(i think i spelled it right)...for those who were wondering what is this hypo thingy...it's basically...the sugar level in your blood went TOO low...and you get seizures.

seriously...luckily i was listening to my handphone mp3 player while i was going back frm work...i was riding my scooter at that time(it's dangerous actually...yeah, i know)...but because of that...i can answer the call...it was my mom...she said my dad was really sick...with that...i just went full throttle back home. when i arrived...what i saw...was something that i can never forget. my dad lying on the bed...sweating...with blood and spit spurted out frm his mouth...surprisingly at that time i can still keep calm and call the hospital for an ambulance.

and a few minutes after that...the ambulance came...and took my dad to the hospital...and my dad stabilized shortly after...Syukur. he's ok now...but not as energetic as before. still...i'm glad.

alright...that's the not so good thing. for the good part...this involving my band Exorage...we get to play for a BIG event...MTV WorldStage 2010...~!!! eheheh...well, actually not the main event itself...just a side-event...but still..it's MTV... =D. i think i'll tell the story in detail...in another entry...~